Facing My Worries More Deeply, and Jasper Meditation

I really need to write more on an earlier post about asking into the worries and fears, there’s so much here. 

Last night, I was playing out in my mind a potential conflict with an ex and I caught myself, sat on the side of my bed and meditated.  I asked what in me is bringing this up, what am I afraid of seeing in myself.  The entanglement popped up and I could face it and eliminate it.  Then I felt compassion and understanding, so I knew I’d resolved the matter.  And fell right asleep.

It turned out, of course, nothing happened – worry over nothing.  But not nothing, because I dug deeper and found self-acceptance.

The picture above is my ridiculously highly-attuned jasper wand.  It’s one of the stones I enjoy looking at and find myself drawn to, but then grow tired of connecting with.  It’s not because it isn’t powerful – it’s very powerful.  But it doesn’t have that juicy, otherworldly “kick” some of the other stones have.  Instead it’s a very slow, earthy energy.

I hadn’t spent a lot of time with this one since Etienne attuned it.  Even when I took it on my weekend getaway it sat mostly as a focus piece.  I blessed it in ritual and made it a “power stone,” but still hadn’t given it much focused attention.

So today I did.  I sat with it and grounded to it.  A deep, rich, earthy, grounded energy.  As I sat with it I felt relaxed, confident, stable, secure.  It’s a slow energy, so when my mind isn’t quiet it can seem “boring,” but that’s the danger of the ego, it seeks out preferences everywhere. 

Staying with it, I felt into the energy, the gravity, the stillness, the humbling quietude.  I could feel that earthly power like standing at the Grand Canyon or looking up at a giant rock cliff.  I also began feeling an earthy sexy quality as I felt into the sexual energy of my root chakra.

Often when we think of sexuality we think of sacral chakra, but sexuality also resides in the root (actually in all of the chakras). It’s a powerful, primal flavor.  I feel into that and I can feel the energy of the DNA I’ve been carrying that goes back to the beginning of life on earth, that primal connection to all life on earth.

It connects me to that part of me that wants to have a farm and live off the land in Thailand. 

It’s a very different experience than connecting to timelessness or alchemy.  But that’s just it – this is about awakening all the energies.