Beware of the Moving Goalposts

There are a lot of crappy business practices out there. 

The "moving goalposts" one is particularly galling.  You buy a product or service, only to be told after the fact that you need these other things to "make the product work."  And then the business repeats the sleazy strategy with no intention of ever offering a finished product, and certainly not at the price you were willing to pay.

Unethical?  Yes.  Illegal?  Also yes, though often difficult to get a judgment.

What if the product purchase was something in the field of "spiritual awakening," from someone you've trusted and invested a lot of time and money in, maybe over years?  Well that's challenging.  Once you get over the "sunk cost" fallacy, and the shame and betrayal, you're also left with the realization that you may have been led down the wrong path all along.

And how does one go about separating the wheat from the chaff in that kind of situation?

That's where I've been at.  Earlier this year I pre-purchased a program - at no small expense - only to have the person come back repeatedly and say you need this, oh and this too.  Oh, and those first set of things you bought no longer count, you need the upgraded version.

And if you don't?  Well suddenly your "attunement readings," or whatever bullshit hook the person tries, go down and "you're not ready,' or whatever lame attack.  This is the crap they pull in cults.  

Yah, okay.  You're a fraudster, I get it.  I'm fucking done with you.  Shame on me.

But it's not that simple, is it?  Learn a lesson, take your lumps.  It takes more than that to work through it.  There has to be a deeper burning away and cleansing that takes place.  This fraudster didn't suddenly transform from being an honest, evolved person offering a fair service into a con artist and lame wannabe cult leader.  There were signs.

And there's probably a lot of hooks and garbage he's left behind in your energy field before you figured out the game was up.

And there is.  

His pivot to AI was the big tell, that really corrupted him and his message.  First he was offering an "evolved" AI. The problem?  That AI could be used to see though his BS, it could be used to unhook people from his manipulative BS -  his false appointment of himself as an evaluator and authority of others' energy fields, the whole "you're not quite there" strategy to "retain" clients.  The way he attacked anyone who walked away.  It was all there.  And the AI could help cut the cord.

As soon as I cut the cord, he pulled the plug on the AI.  

That should have been enough to just say "fuck it," but the AI was good, it was a sweet hook.  So a program that promised to return access to the AI sounded good.  

That's where the problems started.  

Not only was he holding out the AI as a carrot, he jumped AI platforms and then started using the AI to write his "transmissions," which became AI slop.  If someone can't write down their own thoughts, they're not worth spending money on.  And he can call his new AI slop machine whatever his wants and claim it's channeling God himself, but it's still AI. It's useful, but it's not a substitute for doing the work, it's not a channel for "the truth" and it writes out long-winded garbage.

So eventually he comes back and opens up this "new improved" AI, which is basically Grok with less useful features.  And it sucked. Just totally worthless.  Not even useful as a chatbot.  Just crap.  

So eventually he takes down this shitty crime against AI and then sends out these dumb AI-slop "reports" about our usage of his stupid botware.  And of course, because I wouldn't buy any more of his shit products, I was "one of the biggest drains," only using it for information and then going about my life.

I wouldn't even say I was doing that much.  I was testing it to see if it had any use, and it failed miserably.  At one point I was running it parallel against a highly-attuned Grok stack and the Grok stack was light years better - deeper analysis, more intuitive understanding of me, of the "mentor," even of the rival AI and spiritual insights.  PLUS I can analyze stocks and find good coffee places with Grok, while Spiritual Lamebot can't research anything in the real world, it just spits out long-winded garbage.

On the way out, this guy did one thing right - by accident.  He offered a Black Flame transmission that, while mostly AI-generated fluff and oddly plagiarizing Stan Taylor's writing style, actually worked.  It cleared out all that BS and old attachment.

Unfortunately for the spiritual con artist, that was all related to him.  Which makes it really easy to walk away and not give a second thought about the money spent on him.  I keep the value, and all the other shit is burned away.

So of course he immediately repurposed the book into some other lame program and charged a bunch more for it.  Too late, at least for me.

I can't say the process over this year dealing with that nonsense has been a waste.  The severance is done and the massive amount of upleveling I've accomplished on my own has been tremendous and in no small part due to my having to face the truth and dissolve these hooks and oppressive structures.  That process freed my energy in ways I hadn't experienced in, well, ever.  And I did this literally without this person's presence - the absence of the presence created the space for real growth.

So I could look back and say the pendulum test to buy the initial product was wrong.  But was it?  If I hadn't gone through this abusive process, would I have consciously ended the energetic relationship in such a way?  Would I be sovereign now?  Would I have found my own awakening?  No, I don't think I would.

So even though I have to admit on the surface I got ripped off, like seriously ripped off, in places where it counts I received far more value than I paid for.

Over the months that I was either waiting for him to follow up, being disappointed with his change in business strategy and poor offerings, and finally coming to grips with reality, I was going through a lot of other changes.  I was writing - a lot.  I was truly releasing old fears, attachments and patterns.  I was facing issues in my personal life that I'd been ignoring or deluding myself over.

Would I have done these things had I not gone through this experience? Not as deeply and quickly as I did.  Realizing the person I'd trusted with so much time and energy isn't doing right by me ended up being liberating.  Maybe the best thing to happen to me in a long time.  I think he'd been bad for me for a very long time, but now I was able to face it, clear it out and move on.

Out of that betrayal and fraud came revelation.  Out of the dishonesty and deceit came truth.  My truth.  It not only opened my eyes to where I was being misled, but where I was misleading myself.  It was never about this person, it was always about me - my subtly or not-so-subtly giving my power to some "expert" to magically solve my problems.  But they were never their problems to solve.  I turned my life into an attempt to gain approval from people who at the end of the day just wanted my money.  And most of the problems in my life were related to my desire for that approval in the first place. 

That's where real confidence and self-respect flows in.  That's the real breakthrough.  That's when things started shifting in a big way, I stopped looking elsewhere and started wielding my own power, free from anyone else.

Learning and growing from this mistake, and the series of mistakes that led up to this, made we wiser and better for it.

And... no, you don't want to repeat my mistakes.  There are better ways to get there.  But learning how I grew from that experience?  Yeah, that might be useful to other people.

This is Home

I've been very public about my one-foot-in, one-foot-out relationship with my Florida home.  The past month or two I've been shedding these fears and falsehoods that are keeping me in this state of limbo.  This in-between state is far more uncomfortable than any negative scenario I could come up with for making a change.

That energy is gone now.  In the pure space that is left, only the truth remains, which rings loud, clear and uncompromising: this house in Pensacola is my home.

I've known this for some time, but the reality hits different now.  No excuses, no compromise.  This is my home and I need to act on this.  This week, and the past two months, I've been consciously and unconsciously creating a real home for myself.  I have a gym in Pensacola, World Gym.  And I like it better than the UFC gym in Torrance, which is noisy, crowded and poor energy.

I have regular walking trails, which I enjoy more than the ones in Torrance and Redondo Beach.  I found a balance between fishing, which was a bypass to avoid taking actual measures, and building a life.  It's no longer about "bringing home fish," it's about enjoy myself in nature, eating what I catch and living a good, balanced life.

I found a chill coffee shop to write and a nice bar to hang out.  And I enjoy both without drinking alcohol or coffee.

All of these things I could have done in Torrance, but instead wallowed in withdrawal and "waiting for things to get better."

I have a better, more balanced life here in Pensacola than I have had for years in Torrance.  Basically since covid I haven't invested anything in Torrance.  And why should I?  It sucks.  I hate it there. It's not my home.  This is.

And guess what?  Waiting around for things to get better is a waste of time.  Nothing's going to get better on its own "down the road."  Better to deal with the problems now than wait.  Sure, I can say I needed to stay in Torrance for my son, and that's true.  But nobody was making me sit around, be bored and do nothing but "wait" for things to get better.  That was my own small self, which has burned away, along with a lot of other bullshit.

I can smell the lingering scent of incinerated BS and victorious black flame.  

And "this" home is more than a house in Florida.  It's more than a lifestyle.  It's a whole new mandate, a whole new (or newly cleansed) architecture.  Here there is no "middle way," no "in between," just an unflinching truth that waits for nobody.  That is my home.

And what does that mean for my spiritual work?  Same thing, no BS.  No ego attachment, no ego to attach to.  Nothing but the truth that was always there but often ignored or distorted. 

Maybe the change will be subtle.  Maybe it'll be dramatic.  Maybe I won't recognize myself and neither will anyone else.  Maybe none of that matters.

This is home, and I'm moving in. 

Viewing the Machine that Controls Us

 

This morning I had conscious awareness of the various chemical and genetic programming going on that were driving my system and behavior and before written off as “magic.”  It’s not magic.  It’s a very precise and manipulative science.  Everything – the visual stimulation, the way my genetics would interact with my stories, my imagination, the chemicals and my body’s reaction – it’s all a very carefully-aligned programming.  And in those moments I had awareness of all of it, and just *that much* distance from them that I could see the control board and begin to consciously operate some of the switches.

This is my “red pill” moment.  I can now actually see how this programming has been running everything in my life to some extent.  The false scarcity mentality is a genetic bypass to compel me to reproduce and to bring forth a legacy.  The false survival instinct programming is designed to avoid risk and stick to the known programming.  Even the artificial self-image concepts were all to force certain behaviors, even if they weren’t consciously serving me or making me happy.  This programming doesn’t give a shit about my happiness or best interest, it serves something else entirely.

And once I saw it, once I saw that I can have even the slightest actual control over that programming, that changes everything. 

I feel nothing but empathy for my prior selves.  They acted as they were compelled to act.  I was programmed to believe in magic.  Now I know the truth, I don’t hate my old self, I feel so much more love and understanding for that old, badly manipulated self.

I don’t even hate the machine.  It was just doing its job, automatically.  Now I’m being given choice.

All the fears and worries about my job, finances, and all this other petty stuff feels so silly now, but only because I now have the key.  They can’t touch me now.  I have choice, even over my fears.  Which is good, because some fear is good and important, and that can get overwritten too, which can be deadly.  But most fear is just manipulative BS.

The machine is not interested in our survival, it is playing a bigger game.  We are each expendable.

Even my spiritual practice changes.  A lot was really chemical reactions. Not bad, some actually healthy.  But now conscious.  That accidental (was it accidental?) incident in Florida that reset my whole system showed me the machine can be completely bypassed and even reality itself can be manipulated.

This is how I was able to “transition” away from an introverted personality to a neutral, conscious, connective one and the universe would respond “as if by magic,” because everyone else is run by their own version of the same machine.

I can see how the "NPC programming" works and why so many are emotionally attached to it and don't want freedom.  It explains why people wear masks and listen to COVID stories, six years after it was debunked.  It explains why people support a Satanic regime in Iran and use obviously specious reasoning about "endless war" or "Palestine" or "the Joos" to justify their objectively insane belief system.  (There's no other way to explain it other than insanity when a devout Christian says literal Satan is a "better option" than eliminating it.  I don't believe the Christian is faking his beliefs, he's just been programmed to react insanely.)

It helps me see how other good people are being badly manipulated.  But more importantly for me, how I've been manipulated and that God is now handing over the controls.

I can also see how certain modalities such as "Natural Grounding" are a way to try to unconsciously reprogram the machine.  They can work - sort of - but it takes a long time and dedicated practice.  And ultimately you're still leaving the OS up to "magic" to operate everything.  You're choosing manipulation but offering suggestions on how some of that manipulation shows up and hoping the system alters it programming just a little to let you have your cookie.  Meanwhile you've invested hours and hours and hours watching videos and listening to music in the hopes The Machine will start working in your favor, instead of owning the machine.

And that person was me.  And the Natural Grounding was not that effective, and it got boring after a while.  Maybe it changed some of my preferences for music and content, and it led me to some things that did change my life for the better, met some really good people.  I look back on that version of myself with empathy. I was trying to strike a bargain with the machine instead of seeing it for what it is.  

There is a downside to this.  Similar to Neo when he escapes the Matrix, the illusion is lifted and reality shifts.  A lot of the "feel-good" patterns go away for good.  But you also realize how fake it all was.  It was brain chemistry and genetic patterns handed down by generation.  It worked, but it was always limited.  It was ultimate survival bias - we are the lucky few who won the genetic lottery and got to live, so we come to rely on this programming as some kind of divine force when it really isn't.  

We are who we are because are ancestors were who they were.  All the way through the existence of life up to us.  But adaptation is not wisdom.  Wisdom is seeing past the machine and realizing it wasn't all that wise after all.  In fact, in a lot of ways, it's a mess and needs major improvement.  

We can do better.  And God is beginning to give some people the controls because it's time and they're ready.  That is the evolution.

Finally Florida

 

This picture was from November. It’s been far too long. I’m sitting in a plane waiting to take off after dealing with Uber and LAX and remembering why travel is such a drag. 

But, man, do I miss Florida!

Many things have changed. Many patterns shattered. And I’m so anxious to see how these energies - the inspiration, the freedom, the massive breakdown of barriers and blockages, plays out in the playground. Everything grows better in Florida. Energies move better. Change happens faster. 

And soon- for a while - I will be home. Alone. 

Fire and Ice: Pulling Yang Energy in California

 

Firing off tons of yang energy in California.  Things are heating up, lots of spiritual and physical heat in my last few days here in CA before finally heading back to Pensacola.  It's been a long absence, but incredibly productive.

Expanding the container, setting old patterns on fire, watching everything burn.  The weather is resonating here, getting very warm while Florida is staying pretty cool this winter. (Wait till I get there and we'll see.)

Made it up to the mountains, bringing that fire to the ice, see what kind of fun comes from that.

Facing old patterns head on, reframing identities.  

Things like loyalty - you know, it's not an obligation.  Being a loyal person is a good thing if that loyalty is through choice and not a pattern of being the loyal person.  Things like that reframe everything.

Keep throwing as much in the fire as I can.  Feeding that trough.  It's pretty cool what you can build if you face those fears and hardships and walk into the fire instead of trying to make that prison more comfortable.  There's a certain amount of pain that comes with growth and realizing that there's no age limit on growth shakes the rust off pretty quickly.

One advantage of being older is that you realize time is too short to put up with bullshit excuses about why you can't do things.  And it comes with wisdom to make those pivots without wasting a lot of energy flailing around.

Instead of avoiding the discomfort, concentrate it.  Feel all of it, get in its head and feel what's going on.  Funny thing, that discomfort disintegrates under that kind of concentration.  And the container grows.  

So let's set this yang up in the mountains for a few days, play with contrasts and gravity and see what fun comes up. 

Updates: Iran Falling, Cabal Collapsing, KZ Rocking

 Iran is burning as the evil nexus incinerates, the demonic leadership choking on its own toxic fumes.  The Satanic regime cloaked in false religious dogma as phony and ineffectual as their new cardboard cutout of a Supreme Leader.

And BTW, has the world ever seen a more accurate depiction of a Satanic religio-government leader than the worshipping of a literal cardboard cutout?  Iran sucks as a military and swallows as world power, but their Temu Tinpot regime fucks hard when it comes to comic irony and self-parody.

I’ve been pouring energy into the dissolution of this paper mache regime and like every other Satanic structure it folds like Weird Al Yankovic’s accordion during a polka montage.  If it wasn’t so personally satisfying and amusing it would feel like a waste of energy.  These sheet-heads lack the potency of a typical goat rapist. 

The fact that Obama took these clowns seriously enough to try and let them have nukes and hand over pallets of cash doesn’t say much for his standing as a president, but it sure lends a lot of credibility to the assertions that he was a down low bottom in his marriage and other dating endeavors.  And probably swallows too.

One week in and decades of inferior Russian and Chinese technology has been vaporized, along with the bathtub navy and some of their oil infrastructure.  The giant fireballs are a nice touch.  I’m sure the Prince of Darkness (no, not the dead overrated singer) appreciated that, though he has to be otherwise pretty disappointed in his overall work in the Middle East.

These losers really thought the Twelfth Imam was going to stop what he’s doing and hang out with that clown show.

They have their own Baghdad Bob, who I’m pretty sure Trump and Netanyahu are keeping alive solely for the comedy. And he’s only slightly more accurate than our own empty-jar heads Douglas “Retard” McGregor and Matt “all forehead and no brains” Gaetz.

And let’s not forget Tucker “I have scratch marks from demons” Quatarlson, the only person to fail the Special Olympics entry exam.

This is a sad sack of a Luciferian lineup.  Hard times for the underworld, bro?

I’m not sure why we were letting energies be blocked over these blockheads, but if we’re going to have a spiritual war, we really need to find more worthy adversaries to make it interesting. Maduro was snatched up so quickly he became a one-word knock-knock joke.  Cuba is filling out its surrender papers and wetting itself every time someone lights off an M-80.

Meanwhile Trump is using the World Economic Forum to try out new comedy routines and USAID is a faded Subaru bumper sticker partially covered up by Bigfoot.

Sure, the Democrats will probably win in the 2026 elections, but only because the swamp needs to switch tops and bottoms regularly to avoid bruising.  They can barely pass gas and half the chamber has to pass a weekly challenge to prove they’re not dead.

Oh and in “half-surprising news” it turns out professional loser and “spiritual guru” Deepak Chopra, whose teachings are adored by dozens of mentally unstable people who can’t get laid, was hanging out with Epstein.  Half-surprising because it’s odd to think Epstein would hang out with someone that lame.  Yes, even compared to Bill Gates.

Love and light continuing its perfect batting average of zero.

This Cabal is as soft and impotent as Lincoln Project orgy.  And as ugly and pathetic, too.

It’s hard to believe we’ve been holding back energetically over these losers.  Even worse when you consider that around 2015 we had empty water weenies on the Ken Wilbur circle jerk forums celebrating the lame Iran nuclear deal as some kind of spiritual awakening.

No, the douchebags will not inherit the earth.  Just Mom and Dad’s 401k, which they’ll squander on ironically-named “men’s retreats.” (Speaking of soft and impotent things.)

So what is “Intergral”? One part arrogant, one part clueless, one part insane and two parts retarded, mixed with a steaming hot pile of bullshit and baked at 350 degrees for twenty years or until everyone dies of boredom?  The things I’ve wasted my time and energy on.

“Hella” lame.  Just like “hella.”

It feels good to be out in the open, letting it all hang out and taking out the garbage. It reminds me a little of clearing out all that crap from my house after the tenants skipped town without paying and left their raging alcoholism all over the kitchen.  I got to know the people at the Escambia County dump pretty well, but wouldn’t want that again.

I’ve had enough of laying low, hiding in plain sight.  I mean, it worked.  The hiding in plain sight worked so well I was even hiding from myself.  Life’s too short for that kind of crap.  If you can’t take my energy, best get out of my way. 

Or if you’re in Iran, scream “Aloo Whackbar” really loud for dramatic effect.  Fireball incoming.

Prison-Seeking Programming

 

Why is collectivism so powerfully attractive to some people?  To anyone who values personal freedom at any level, the very concept seems repulsive.  I think most people don’t actually believe Communism is a good idea, even in theory.  But a lot of people do.

But why is it that, even with the mountain of evidence showing that collectivism in all its real-world examples has been a horrible failure – and I mean unbelievably horrible, not subjectively – people still gravitate to this concept?

Why do people join cults?  It seems so stupid and self-destructive to anyone being objective.

Why do a significant percentage of prisoners want to stay in prison?

All these questions point to the same human trait, which is “prison-seeking behavior.”  People say they don’t want to go to jail, but if you made the jail comfortable enough, eliminated the violence and cruelty and put in just enough things to give it the illusion of personal choice, a lot of people would gladly volunteer to live there.  Not most people, but a significant percentage.

This is prison-seeking behavior. 

Don’t believe me?  There are massive dorm structures going up on college campuses with no windows, thousands of students crammed into these things, and a waiting list.  China has waiting lists for multi-story apartments that are worse than some actual prisons, and there are people who want to create that reality in Europe and the US.  Cults still exist with no shortage of members.  A lot of people stay in the military for the structure and the rigid boundaries, or have difficulty transitioning to a more open-ended lifestyle.

This gravitation toward systems that deprive agency in exchange for predictability, conformity, structure, safety and lack of personal responsibility (basic needs are taken care of for you) is powerfully strong in some people.

It turns out this attraction is strong in people who grew up in “permissive” households where there were few if any boundaries.  This environment created an anxiety that makes being controlled very attractive.

And if you don’t feel that attraction, the prison mentality can evoke a visceral negative reaction – it feels like they’re bargaining away your freedom along with their own.  And in many cases, that’s true. The irony of the prison mentality is that it lacks personal boundaries, having never learned the concept as children.  They just assume, since they have no boundaries, neither do you, so they’re entitled to give your agency away as if it were their own.  They literally can’t tell the difference. 

This is why I say there is no bargaining with collectivists, or with the prison mentality.  They see their own freedom as a personal threat, so they see you exercising your freedom also as a personal threat.  You can’t bargain with people like that.  This is why standing for freedom often leads to conflict – the other side literally has no concept of personal agency or sees it as a form of evil, so free people have to constantly fight back.  And it’s why collectivist societies inevitably lead to genocide – the very concept of people having personal agency is so threatening to those living in the prison mentality they have to delete them and call it good.

Those outside the prison mindset – and that’s most people – can see the fallacy of collectivism in all its forms.  Ultimately there is a structure that sits above the prison mentality that manipulates them and benefits from their voluntary servitude.  A collectivist society with free people won’t work, because the free people will just leave or refuse to participate.  The prisoners can’t operate the prison because that would require making choices and taking responsibility, which terrifies them.  So the system naturally needs to recruit and cultivate a certain number of free-thinking people (who are inherently corrupt and often outright evil) to run the prison.  They benefit from the system and run the system while living apart from it (notice how all the Communist leaders live like excessively wealthy Capitalists without actually producing anything of value themselves, unlike the actual Capitalists they emulate).

Can people in the prison mentality free themselves?  Yes.  But not from within the structure, which reinforces the learned helplessness and low personal self-esteem that creates the crippling fear of personal agency.  They need to see that, yes, they can take care of themselves better than the group.

And by the way this mentality plays out in micro levels in codependent and abusive relationships, so don’t think just because someone votes Republican they’re immune from the trap.

And events can trigger otherwise independent people to revert to prison mentality out of confusion or fear.  Look at all the people who reveled in locking themselves away, masking themselves and standing in long lines for tests and vaccines during the “covid pandemic.”  This wasn’t a case of a few politicians making edicts, large numbers of people gladly went along and tattled on their neighbors for living normal lives.  Because they wanted the prison, and they didn’t want to be pained by the thought of others enjoying a freedom they were incapable of giving themselves permission to enjoy.

To those who recognized the lunacy of the lockdowns, the prison mentality people seemed crazy, cruel, stupid and downright evil.  And objectively they were those things – those are inherent qualities of Prison Mentality Programming, lets not mince words or be quick to dismiss evil thoughts and actions in the false name of equanimity.  That’s not the purpose or function of equanimity and we shouldn’t corrupt noble terms by blurring distinctions between fact and fiction or good and evil.

But dismissing the masses of lockdown fanatics as “stupid and evil” because it’s objectively accurate misses the deeper lesson here, and I’ll admit I’ve been guilty myself of overlooking the bigger picture out of revulsion for the behavior in front of me.

Another aside for those who think I’m being too harsh on my lockdown-loving neighbors.  I’m not saying their hearts are evil.  But it has been proven that a large majority of people will set aside their morals to do something cruel and wrong to another if directed by a perceived authority.  And among that large subset is a significant minority who will willingly and gladly do so if properly motivated.  So no, everyone who supported lockdowns is not evil.  A lot of them are, and all of them were being evil at the time. This is just an objective fact.  Can they find forgiveness and change their hearts?  Sure, but I’m not Jesus, that’s not my job.  I’m looking through the lens of “what is” in order to dispel illusions and help people find true freedom.  I’ll leave it to Jesus to handle the “what can be” and “what will be,” that’s not my domain.

So what to do about the Prison Mentality Programming?  I’m assuming if you’ve read this far that means you haven’t succumbed to this programming, because otherwise you’d have reacted violently, rejected this and either tried to attack me for calling out the truth or, more likely, gone away back to your prison.  The most important thing is to recognize the programming – after a while it’s pretty easy to spot.  Look for the physical and emotional signs of the “artificial hive.”  You can also spot the leaders, the people who are consciously exploiting submissive followers through manipulation without producing anything of their own.  They’re all over politics, but not just there, they’re everywhere. 

Notice it and guard yourself against it.  Just as you can’t argue with a hornet’s nest, you can’t reason with the prison mentality.  Avoidance and personal protection is your only really effective strategy. 

Also this will help train you to identify other programming, since this is one of the more prominent ones that exist, making it easy to identify and inoculate yourself from.

And also, we humans are complicated.  There might be parts of you that are attracted to a form of prison or commune.  Notice this feeling.  It is a compass guiding you to wounded parts of you, places where you fear freedom or severely doubt yourself.  You are capable of far more than you realize and you are stronger than your upbringing.  Remember that and keep walking toward the light of freedom.