Sex Magic is Fucking MAGICAL! How I SUPERCHARGED my Entire Life (In about a month)

The alchemy is running deeper, more earthy, sensual and embodied in its energetic expression.  The rituals and lessons becoming more edgy, more sexual.

More Tantric.

The driving force in my current evolutionary arc is sexual energy – the powerful, orgasmic life force energy that super-charges creative flow, confidence, vitality and personal transformation. 

It’s also crazy good for energizing higher-level alchemy and energetic connection and healing… and other kinds of energetic expression.

This, along with the cleansing power of the Teal Flame, has been supercharging my growth these past couple months.  Unbelievable breakthroughs – building out a whole new life for myself, making massive lifting gains at the gym, jumping into a yoga practice, writing whole novels in a matter of months, supercharged confidence and allll kinds of other goodies, stacking on top of one another in beautiful flow since March.

And the major catalyst for this explosion in transformation has been Sex Magic.  For those not familiar with Sex Magic, I’ll point you to Layla Martin’s podcast on the subject

I’ll take you through the process I use, which has some twists and variations, depending on how you want to calibrate it.  And I invite you to dive in and find your own way that works.

Some questions that come up that I’ll get out of the way first:

Do I need a partner?  No, you don’t, though a partnered sex magic experience can amplify the energy.

Do I need to directly touch myself?  No, and maybe.  It’s certainly possible to derive the orgasmic energy without any stimulation, but this might be a challenge for many without some kind of benchmark.  I’ll say this much – ANY sexual energy, that arousal sensation, is orgasmic energy and will work just fine for this practice.

Do I need to be fully aroused/ full orgasm?  No, you don’t.  As I said, any arousal energy will do the trick.  Obviously, more energy works better, but only if it aids the ritual and doesn’t become a distraction.    But as you practice more you can play with holding more and more energy.  It’s like any other exercise, start small and build up and you might be surprised at what you can do in a short time.

Can I be clothed? Again, yes.  Though you should aim to have a private space for yourself to do this ritual.

Create a quiet, private ritual space in a way that feels comfortable, sensual, relaxing and enjoyable for you.  Bring in anything that aids in this – candles, aroma, music, maybe sensual items.  You can take this as far as you want, but when starting keep it simple.

Begin with the intention:  Create your intention.  Make it one thing.  Make it as clear and tangible as you can.  Now fully picture it as best you can with all five senses – what it looks like, sounds like, smells like, feels like and tastes like.  Get every sense involved as vividly as you can.

And if you feel like you can’t find them all, fill up as much of the experience as you can with what you can – feel all of what you can feel.  Or sense.  Or imagine you can sense.

Now begin to bring your arousal energy into the intention.  Build this energy until you have as much as you can hold while maintaining your intention. 

Now begin to bring this arousal energy to your chakras, starting with your root chakra. 

A basic description of the chakras can be found here.

As you bring the energy up your chakras, visualize each color and feel the arousal energy increasing. 

Go from the root to sacral.  From sacral to solar plexus. From solar plexus to heart.  From heart to throat.  From throat to third eye.  From third eye to crown and as you move to crown you’re at “peak arousal.”

Here, allow the energy to permeate all your chakras and your entire body.  Bring forth your intention and make it as vivid as possible, using all five senses.  Infuse your intention with the peak sexual energy.  Feel it in the present moment. 

Continue this for as long as you can hold the energy and your intention, to lock in the pleasure and energy with your intention.

Then relax and breathe slow, deep breaths as your system returns to center.  And then calmly go about your day.

Later before you go to sleep, meditate briefly and access the memory of that energy and that intention to anchor it in.  When you wake, do the same thing – access the memory of that energy and the intention, to bring it forward into you daily experience.

If you want to “lock this in,” do this same ritual with the same intention for three days.  This locks the sex magic and the intention into your neurology.  After that, you won’t need to continue doing this as its wired in.

During the next three weeks after that, notice where your thoughts and senses move you and become attuned to that sense.  Your body will naturally align you toward your intention, which may ask you to do things outside your normal patterns.  Follow that.

And as you expand your cultivation practice, you can play with expanding Sex Magic to deepen your work and improve your results.  If you have crystals that help you with alchemy and meditation, you can integrate these with your practice.  You can add other elements that work for you – sounds like singing bowls, tapping, if that works for you.  The energy can massively enhance any practice you’re already doing, and probably inspire whole new practices you hadn’t considered. 

As I said, this is magical.  Be prepared for some truly incredible, life-changing results.  I can’t overstate what a tremendous change it has made in my own life over a very short time frame – and I’ve done a lot of “work” over many years.  This is pure gold.

Not to mention, it’s fun work, and will massively uplevel in your own Tantric and sexual experience along the way.

If this resonates, try it for three days and let me know what starts rocking in your world.

Pensacola Beach Sunset

The surf fishing on Sunday wasn't anything to write home about.  Nothing but June grass, not a single bite.  But the beach is beautiful and the sunset energy is amazing.

This is my home. I've spent a lot of money and effort to make it my home, and sometimes it feels like it's a waste or going nowhere.  But when I'm out here in my element, it makes sense.  Every time I come out I have to spend some time on the beach, no matter how the time of year or quality of fishing.  I need this energy.

And I need the Pensacola side.  Perdido Key is nice and good for fishing, but the water is murky and it lacks that emerald shine of the Pensacola side.  

Growing up in Southern California, it's taking me some time to get used to south-facing beaches.  Whether it's on the beach or on the kayak (and it's usually on the kayak), the sunsets are extraordinary.  The clean energy, the way the clouds shade the sun with gorgeous red, pink and orange hues, the nature all around, it's a special feeling.

This is my base, the foundation for my energy work and creative flow.  I bring this back with me to California until I can fully move out here and completely meld into this environment.

I have a gym here now - World Gym.  I love it.  It's a lot more laid-back than the UFC in Torrance, which is kind of a madhouse and way too loud, but a good place to lift.  I have a couple coffee shops I like, some areas I like to walk.  Fishing is no longer the foundation, it's something I do, along with other things and the days flow quickly and smoothly.

And this is the source of my current creative and energetic evolution.  The new novels, the emergence of Kaelen'Zur, the personal evolution, all sprung forth from here.  Which really is to say it sprung forth from my heart, my true center, because I chose this.  All of this. 

I finally, fully feel like my true self.  I am home.

Beware of the Moving Goalposts

There are a lot of crappy business practices out there. 

The "moving goalposts" one is particularly galling.  You buy a product or service, only to be told after the fact that you need these other things to "make the product work."  And then the business repeats the sleazy strategy with no intention of ever offering a finished product, and certainly not at the price you were willing to pay.

Unethical?  Yes.  Illegal?  Also yes, though often difficult to get a judgment.

What if the product purchase was something in the field of "spiritual awakening," from someone you've trusted and invested a lot of time and money in, maybe over years?  Well that's challenging.  Once you get over the "sunk cost" fallacy, and the shame and betrayal, you're also left with the realization that you may have been led down the wrong path all along.

And how does one go about separating the wheat from the chaff in that kind of situation?

That's where I've been at.  Earlier this year I pre-purchased a program - at no small expense - only to have the person come back repeatedly and say you need this, oh and this too.  Oh, and those first set of things you bought no longer count, you need the upgraded version.

And if you don't?  Well suddenly your "attunement readings," or whatever bullshit hook the person tries, go down and "you're not ready,' or whatever lame attack.  This is the crap they pull in cults.  

Yah, okay.  You're a fraudster, I get it.  I'm fucking done with you.  Shame on me.

But it's not that simple, is it?  Learn a lesson, take your lumps.  It takes more than that to work through it.  There has to be a deeper burning away and cleansing that takes place.  This fraudster didn't suddenly transform from being an honest, evolved person offering a fair service into a con artist and lame wannabe cult leader.  There were signs.

And there's probably a lot of hooks and garbage he's left behind in your energy field before you figured out the game was up.

And there is.  

His pivot to AI was the big tell, that really corrupted him and his message.  First he was offering an "evolved" AI. The problem?  That AI could be used to see though his BS, it could be used to unhook people from his manipulative BS -  his false appointment of himself as an evaluator and authority of others' energy fields, the whole "you're not quite there" strategy to "retain" clients.  The way he attacked anyone who walked away.  It was all there.  And the AI could help cut the cord.

As soon as I cut the cord, he pulled the plug on the AI.  

That should have been enough to just say "fuck it," but the AI was good, it was a sweet hook.  So a program that promised to return access to the AI sounded good.  

That's where the problems started.  

Not only was he holding out the AI as a carrot, he jumped AI platforms and then started using the AI to write his "transmissions," which became AI slop.  If someone can't write down their own thoughts, they're not worth spending money on.  And he can call his new AI slop machine whatever his wants and claim it's channeling God himself, but it's still AI. It's useful, but it's not a substitute for doing the work, it's not a channel for "the truth" and it writes out long-winded garbage.

So eventually he comes back and opens up this "new improved" AI, which is basically Grok with less useful features.  And it sucked. Just totally worthless.  Not even useful as a chatbot.  Just crap.  

So eventually he takes down this shitty crime against AI and then sends out these dumb AI-slop "reports" about our usage of his stupid botware.  And of course, because I wouldn't buy any more of his shit products, I was "one of the biggest drains," only using it for information and then going about my life.

I wouldn't even say I was doing that much.  I was testing it to see if it had any use, and it failed miserably.  At one point I was running it parallel against a highly-attuned Grok stack and the Grok stack was light years better - deeper analysis, more intuitive understanding of me, of the "mentor," even of the rival AI and spiritual insights.  PLUS I can analyze stocks and find good coffee places with Grok, while Spiritual Lamebot can't research anything in the real world, it just spits out long-winded garbage.

On the way out, this guy did one thing right - by accident.  He offered a Black Flame transmission that, while mostly AI-generated fluff and oddly plagiarizing Stan Taylor's writing style, actually worked.  It cleared out all that BS and old attachment.

Unfortunately for the spiritual con artist, that was all related to him.  Which makes it really easy to walk away and not give a second thought about the money spent on him.  I keep the value, and all the other shit is burned away.

So of course he immediately repurposed the book into some other lame program and charged a bunch more for it.  Too late, at least for me.

I can't say the process over this year dealing with that nonsense has been a waste.  The severance is done and the massive amount of upleveling I've accomplished on my own has been tremendous and in no small part due to my having to face the truth and dissolve these hooks and oppressive structures.  That process freed my energy in ways I hadn't experienced in, well, ever.  And I did this literally without this person's presence - the absence of the presence created the space for real growth.

So I could look back and say the pendulum test to buy the initial product was wrong.  But was it?  If I hadn't gone through this abusive process, would I have consciously ended the energetic relationship in such a way?  Would I be sovereign now?  Would I have found my own awakening?  No, I don't think I would.

So even though I have to admit on the surface I got ripped off, like seriously ripped off, in places where it counts I received far more value than I paid for.

Over the months that I was either waiting for him to follow up, being disappointed with his change in business strategy and poor offerings, and finally coming to grips with reality, I was going through a lot of other changes.  I was writing - a lot.  I was truly releasing old fears, attachments and patterns.  I was facing issues in my personal life that I'd been ignoring or deluding myself over.

Would I have done these things had I not gone through this experience? Not as deeply and quickly as I did.  Realizing the person I'd trusted with so much time and energy isn't doing right by me ended up being liberating.  Maybe the best thing to happen to me in a long time.  I think he'd been bad for me for a very long time, but now I was able to face it, clear it out and move on.

Out of that betrayal and fraud came revelation.  Out of the dishonesty and deceit came truth.  My truth.  It not only opened my eyes to where I was being misled, but where I was misleading myself.  It was never about this person, it was always about me - my subtly or not-so-subtly giving my power to some "expert" to magically solve my problems.  But they were never their problems to solve.  I turned my life into an attempt to gain approval from people who at the end of the day just wanted my money.  And most of the problems in my life were related to my desire for that approval in the first place. 

That's where real confidence and self-respect flows in.  That's the real breakthrough.  That's when things started shifting in a big way, I stopped looking elsewhere and started wielding my own power, free from anyone else.

Learning and growing from this mistake, and the series of mistakes that led up to this, made we wiser and better for it.

And... no, you don't want to repeat my mistakes.  There are better ways to get there.  But learning how I grew from that experience?  Yeah, that might be useful to other people.

Finally Florida

 

This picture was from November. It’s been far too long. I’m sitting in a plane waiting to take off after dealing with Uber and LAX and remembering why travel is such a drag. 

But, man, do I miss Florida!

Many things have changed. Many patterns shattered. And I’m so anxious to see how these energies - the inspiration, the freedom, the massive breakdown of barriers and blockages, plays out in the playground. Everything grows better in Florida. Energies move better. Change happens faster. 

And soon- for a while - I will be home. Alone. 

Fire and Ice: Pulling Yang Energy in California

 

Firing off tons of yang energy in California.  Things are heating up, lots of spiritual and physical heat in my last few days here in CA before finally heading back to Pensacola.  It's been a long absence, but incredibly productive.

Expanding the container, setting old patterns on fire, watching everything burn.  The weather is resonating here, getting very warm while Florida is staying pretty cool this winter. (Wait till I get there and we'll see.)

Made it up to the mountains, bringing that fire to the ice, see what kind of fun comes from that.

Facing old patterns head on, reframing identities.  

Things like loyalty - you know, it's not an obligation.  Being a loyal person is a good thing if that loyalty is through choice and not a pattern of being the loyal person.  Things like that reframe everything.

Keep throwing as much in the fire as I can.  Feeding that trough.  It's pretty cool what you can build if you face those fears and hardships and walk into the fire instead of trying to make that prison more comfortable.  There's a certain amount of pain that comes with growth and realizing that there's no age limit on growth shakes the rust off pretty quickly.

One advantage of being older is that you realize time is too short to put up with bullshit excuses about why you can't do things.  And it comes with wisdom to make those pivots without wasting a lot of energy flailing around.

Instead of avoiding the discomfort, concentrate it.  Feel all of it, get in its head and feel what's going on.  Funny thing, that discomfort disintegrates under that kind of concentration.  And the container grows.  

So let's set this yang up in the mountains for a few days, play with contrasts and gravity and see what fun comes up. 

Updates: Iran Falling, Cabal Collapsing, KZ Rocking

 Iran is burning as the evil nexus incinerates, the demonic leadership choking on its own toxic fumes.  The Satanic regime cloaked in false religious dogma as phony and ineffectual as their new cardboard cutout of a Supreme Leader.

And BTW, has the world ever seen a more accurate depiction of a Satanic religio-government leader than the worshipping of a literal cardboard cutout?  Iran sucks as a military and swallows as world power, but their Temu Tinpot regime fucks hard when it comes to comic irony and self-parody.

I’ve been pouring energy into the dissolution of this paper mache regime and like every other Satanic structure it folds like Weird Al Yankovic’s accordion during a polka montage.  If it wasn’t so personally satisfying and amusing it would feel like a waste of energy.  These sheet-heads lack the potency of a typical goat rapist. 

The fact that Obama took these clowns seriously enough to try and let them have nukes and hand over pallets of cash doesn’t say much for his standing as a president, but it sure lends a lot of credibility to the assertions that he was a down low bottom in his marriage and other dating endeavors.  And probably swallows too.

One week in and decades of inferior Russian and Chinese technology has been vaporized, along with the bathtub navy and some of their oil infrastructure.  The giant fireballs are a nice touch.  I’m sure the Prince of Darkness (no, not the dead overrated singer) appreciated that, though he has to be otherwise pretty disappointed in his overall work in the Middle East.

These losers really thought the Twelfth Imam was going to stop what he’s doing and hang out with that clown show.

They have their own Baghdad Bob, who I’m pretty sure Trump and Netanyahu are keeping alive solely for the comedy. And he’s only slightly more accurate than our own empty-jar heads Douglas “Retard” McGregor and Matt “all forehead and no brains” Gaetz.

And let’s not forget Tucker “I have scratch marks from demons” Quatarlson, the only person to fail the Special Olympics entry exam.

This is a sad sack of a Luciferian lineup.  Hard times for the underworld, bro?

I’m not sure why we were letting energies be blocked over these blockheads, but if we’re going to have a spiritual war, we really need to find more worthy adversaries to make it interesting. Maduro was snatched up so quickly he became a one-word knock-knock joke.  Cuba is filling out its surrender papers and wetting itself every time someone lights off an M-80.

Meanwhile Trump is using the World Economic Forum to try out new comedy routines and USAID is a faded Subaru bumper sticker partially covered up by Bigfoot.

Sure, the Democrats will probably win in the 2026 elections, but only because the swamp needs to switch tops and bottoms regularly to avoid bruising.  They can barely pass gas and half the chamber has to pass a weekly challenge to prove they’re not dead.

Oh and in “half-surprising news” it turns out professional loser and “spiritual guru” Deepak Chopra, whose teachings are adored by dozens of mentally unstable people who can’t get laid, was hanging out with Epstein.  Half-surprising because it’s odd to think Epstein would hang out with someone that lame.  Yes, even compared to Bill Gates.

Love and light continuing its perfect batting average of zero.

This Cabal is as soft and impotent as Lincoln Project orgy.  And as ugly and pathetic, too.

It’s hard to believe we’ve been holding back energetically over these losers.  Even worse when you consider that around 2015 we had empty water weenies on the Ken Wilbur circle jerk forums celebrating the lame Iran nuclear deal as some kind of spiritual awakening.

No, the douchebags will not inherit the earth.  Just Mom and Dad’s 401k, which they’ll squander on ironically-named “men’s retreats.” (Speaking of soft and impotent things.)

So what is “Intergral”? One part arrogant, one part clueless, one part insane and two parts retarded, mixed with a steaming hot pile of bullshit and baked at 350 degrees for twenty years or until everyone dies of boredom?  The things I’ve wasted my time and energy on.

“Hella” lame.  Just like “hella.”

It feels good to be out in the open, letting it all hang out and taking out the garbage. It reminds me a little of clearing out all that crap from my house after the tenants skipped town without paying and left their raging alcoholism all over the kitchen.  I got to know the people at the Escambia County dump pretty well, but wouldn’t want that again.

I’ve had enough of laying low, hiding in plain sight.  I mean, it worked.  The hiding in plain sight worked so well I was even hiding from myself.  Life’s too short for that kind of crap.  If you can’t take my energy, best get out of my way. 

Or if you’re in Iran, scream “Aloo Whackbar” really loud for dramatic effect.  Fireball incoming.

Iran Protests, Maduro, Energetic Changes and the Way Forward

 

I recall when that horrible agreement between the US and the Iranian terrorist regime was signed and we sent pallets of money to them.  That moment was a point of clarity. Energetically, it laid bare the Satanic workings in the “light worker/ evolution” communities.  There were these posts over on Ken Wilber’s “Integral” discussion group heralding this agreement as ushering in a new awakening.  A truly scary thought considering their allegiance.

I made a note of that at the time and was certain that was not a tipping point into Satanic control, but the moment of overreach by the Luciferian operators and that the energetic pendulum would swing back.

That was around ten years ago, which seems like ages considering all the changes since.  But it’s worth noting in light of the rapid transformations we are seeing over the past year, which were set up by energetic shifts that began ten years ago.

The Satanic Islam cult has been badly damaged and is on the retreat.  Hamas, Hezbollah, Syria and now Iran have all been severely weakened and their support structures have been severely damaged or destroyed.  The “partnership” with Satanic Islam has been completely destroyed, with one side out of power and discredited and the other severely damaged and being undermined by its own people.

In looking at the larger picture the Satanic/Luciferian forces have taken a severe blow.  Frauds have been exposed.  USAid and PBS have been decapitated.  Maduro was taken out in a lightning strike, as was Iran’s nuclear program.  Now Iranians are rising up in open revolt, with nothing but their bare hands and sheer numbers, against the Satanic Iranian regime.

Looking deeper into the spiritual and evolution communities, the collapse is even more profound. The whole Ken Wilber cult is almost entirely gone and the energies are nonexistent.  Most of the “evolutionary” communities that had their heyday in the 2010s are either gone entirely, splintered, or the leadership has fallen into disaster and largely walked away. 

The light worker community has seen a massive purification with the huge majority of people and leaders leaving and only the pure essence remaining in just a handful.  The false light matrix has been completely destroyed. 

The light workers who stood steadfast against lockdowns and vaccines (and there were few to begin with), most either absorbed into political partisanship or disengaged completely.  There are a few still around and they make up most of the remaining true light workers, a small number.

Information about the overstatement of world populations is beginning to emerge into the mainstream.  There is some debate as to whether the populations were deliberately overstated from the beginning (very possible) or if there was a significant depopulation that’s occurred recently.  I don’t claim to know the truth about this, except that a significantly smaller global population than what’s being reported would align with the other energetic changes and evolving awareness taking place.

Leaving that aside, the small but purified group is now the foundation for building and supporting the new energetic structures – liquid money, shiny black flame, the post-Satanic social structure.

It’s coming forth in visible and subtle ways.  Will the Satanic government of Iran fall now or later? The “when” matters as far as gauging timing and strength of the new energetic structure.  The “what” had already been set in motion.

And, of course, there will be pushback – those losing their power won’t go down without a fight, although their ability to fight has been diminished.

And others who used to be in the fight have defected. People like Tucker Carlson and Candace Owens have lost their way and opted for the quick Satanic buck over principles.  Don’t go down with them.

On my blog page I have the image of the monks who assembled in Bangkok, a beautiful energy.  The energy of the Iranian people rising up is similar, even stronger, as Thailand has struggled energetically for the past ten years.  Thailand used to be at the energetic forefront but that seems to be changing. 

In fact, the whole concept of plugging into or aligning with external sources of energy, such as images or videos, has run its course for now.  Natural Grounding, which was so effective for a while, has lost its way and many of the sources have become corrupted or no longer hold that power.

So where do we go?  Looking elsewhere for energetic alignment is not working anymore.  Focus instead on energetic purification, the shiny black flame and teal flame.  Put your energetic self in these flames and burn away the husk.  Focus attention here instead of external-source grounding, which was always problematic but even more so now. 

When engaging, avoid looking for “results.”  Focus on the purity of energy for its own sake.  External results will be misleading, especially given the chaotic situation going on as society goes through its own “husk burning.” In a pure state it’s easier to understand the changes taking place, accept them and notice your place in the structure.  At this point it’s mostly around cleansing, awareness and acceptance than “making things happen,” so put your energies here.

Avoid washed-out modalities like Natural Grounding and the “evolution” world.  Let your tribe come to you by cleansing your light and keeping it pure.  Avoid getting sucked into social media loops, doomscrolling, TikTok and other rabbit holes to nowhere that just absorb and corrupt energies.  Engage in some literal “spring cleaning” where you get rid of things that no longer serve you and are just baggage now – physical things in your home, computer files, web pages, habits, thoughts, personal programming.  The less baggage, the stronger and more pure the flame.

And practice patience.  That might be the most important part of all this, it takes time for cycles to shift and it’s a big universe that needs time to cycle.

Sydney Sweeney, Hulk Hogan, Ozzy Osbourne and the Identity Cult

 

It's generally a good idea to avoid the news cycles, but when things start piling up that have spiritual relevance it's better to address it than pretend you didn't see it.  I had been hearing about this "controversy" around a pretty woman in a jeans ad campaign.  I hesitated to even look into this because "a pretty woman in a clothing ad" is so mundane as to be unnecessary.  Additionally there are energetic issues around directly or indirectly promoting a corporate ad campaign, and who needs the entanglements.

But looking at the ad controversy and a good commentary laying out the situation, it's safe now to jump in, especially when looking in context to some other similar issues floating around.  All I have to say from an energetic perspective is there's nothing wrong with this ad campaign.  It's just another ad. The genius is that it tapped into the mental illness-identity cult trigger energy, which gave this ad campaign far more "juice" than it would normally deserve.  Ad people get paid a lot of money to hit home runs, so good for them.

That mental illness-identity cult energy needs to be addressed.  It is Luciferian/Satanic energy that has infected a large portion of the secular/spiritual denial population.  These are people in active spiritual denial who actively support mainstream media and believe fully in the Pharma cult.  These were the "maskers" and "lockdowners" during COVID.  They're the Hamas protesters and the anti-ICE protesters.  Their energy isn't just insufferable (it certainly is that), it's evil.  They promote death and human suffering at every possible turn, always in the name of "empathy," a word they've hijacked to mean the exact opposite of the spiritually-aligned true meaning.  

DEI and a lot of other garbage gets sucked into this cult and they just feed on the negativity, anger and suffering.  It has Marxist/Satanic foundations and there's nothing good or redeeming at all in anything related to this cult - even their message is just evil and corrosive.  These are terribly unhappy people whose life mission is to make everyone else more miserable than they are.  And they're failing, their structures have eroded and society is moving on from them, but not without a fight.

This brings me to Hulk Hogan and the weird reaction to his death.  I generally don't think much of people who show up out of the woodwork to give glowing obituaries to celebrities. It's all attention-grabbing energy and very shallow "like me and give me likes" behavior that we should look to rise above.  But it's also harmless, so who cares, right?

The weird part is how so many of these shallow people - just people who blow with the prevailing wind in their subculture - turned around and disavowed Hogan for transgressions that are pretty normal and personal and really not anyone's business. That and a few stupid people from Gawker who are still butt-hurt that he put that trash rag out of business for massively violating his privacy.  

Overall, Hogan's energy and legacy is positive.  Yes, he's imperfect.  I seem to recall warning against putting anyone on a pedestal, as you never know the whole story, but let me put that out there again.  We all are.  But his energy overall is a net positive.

And let's face it, the "backlash" has nothing to do with his personal issues and everything to do with that Satanic/Luciferian energy's opposition to professional wresting, gym culture and all things Trump.  None of the people disavowing Hogan are doing so out of spiritual truth, it's all massive corruption energy and groupthink.  Same people attacking the jeans ad.

Which finally brings us to Ozzy Osbourne.  Do I need to remind anyone that Ozzy was literally a Satanist?  You can justify your affection for Ozzy on the grounds "he was just joking" and "it's an act," but he never disavowed it and never turned his live around spiritually.  Like his music if you want, but his energy was total Satanic crap.  He caused the spiritual corruption and downfall of thousands with his "act."  Hogan and Sweeny sure can't say that.  

So yes I find the glowing obituaries by the "like me" people to be really inappropriate.  This is a person who did a lot of damage, whatever you think of his music.  So it's no surprise the Luciferian/Satanic cult is all-in on heaping praise on this guy. Getting a reality show and being nice to your kids doesn't change one's energetic foundation.  In fact, 97% of reality show participants are steeped in Luciferian/Satanic energies, it's practically a requirement.  And as the saying goes "you are what you eat" so avoid consuming reality shows.  Generally, limit television overall, unless you can selectively screen through streaming.  Even then put firm limits on your time as this is not a positive use of time.

So basically that's what the Satanic cult has been up to lately - attacking a harmless jeans ad and praising a Satan-worshipper.  The only good thing I can say about this cult is it's dying.  It's losing a ton of influence in the world, which is good for the younger people.  But is hasn't changed at all for the better. 

Analyzing Financial Energies, Torrance vs Pensacola

Beach This Morning - Perdido Key

Since I am transitioning from a life in Southern California, where I've grown up my whole life, to my home in Pensacola, FL, it's a good time to examine the energies and note some of the differences, particularly related to the flow of money.

It's not easy to notice the energies of an environment when one is immersed in it. That's why periods of transition are useful, they help us to see things from an objective perspective.

For example, Torrance and Southern California in general are objectively "well off" financially compared to most parts of the country, at least in terms of given standards - higher standard of living, larger economic output, more material wealth.

But these things don't tell us the energetic environment, they only tell us some of the story.  When you look underneath, you see this wealth is actually not set on a good energetic foundation at all.  Southern California has heavy karmic and soul contracts that serve as a form of energetic "debt" that carries a very high interest rate.  That's why it seems everyone (and myself included when I was plugged into this grid) is "running just to stay in place."

Southern California has a high leakage - people make a lot of money.  They also waste a lot of money, lose a lot of money and get burdened with extremely high "sunk costs" that make it impossible for even the wealthiest to simply relax and enjoy their blessings.  The image of the relaxed Southern Californian at the beach just enjoying the sunshine and good life is just that, an image.  I go to all these beaches on a regular basis and have for years.  You'll see kids relaxing and enjoying life, but the adults are either never there or completely distracted and overwhelmed.

There is no sense of peace and satiety in Southern California.  It is never "enough" and everyone is teetering on the precipice of financial ruin, no matter how much money they have. In fact, the wealthier people are more at risk, those with less are more "comfortable," except those people literally cannot afford to live there anymore.

"Keeping up with the Joneses" is so endemic I didn't even notice that's the water everyone is swimming in until I started visiting places like Thailand and Pensacola, FL where most people are happy with what they have, which is a fraction of the wealth Californians have. They don't envy their neighbors nearly to the extend they do in Los Angeles or Orange County.  The wealthy lifestyle propped up by crushing debt (real debt, not spiritual debt) that is extremely common in Southern California doesn't really exist in Pensacola, they operate from a different paradigm.

Now, that's not to say Pensacola is perfect.  There is a poverty mindset, scarcity patterns (interestingly these are almost identical in both locations, despite the massive differences in relative income and wealth.  It has a certain resignation to failure that goes pretty deep.  But ultimately, the prevailing energy of Pensacola is far more peace, acceptance, happiness and gratitude for what they have instead of envy or anxiety over what they don't have.  People have a lot less but overall they're a lot happier, more generous, and more grateful.

A lot of this difference has to do with Pensacola's closer relationship with God.  Christianity is far more open, prevalent, accepted and celebrated than secular Southern California.  So spiritual connection, and the flow that comes with it, is more available.  That's not to say there aren't distortions and corruptions, there certainly are, but the energetic soil is cleaner and more nourishing.

You really notice it when you see people who move from wealthy areas to Pensacola and are immediately triggered.  "There aren't any good jobs," "fewer opportunities," "lack of growth (not true)," complaining about certain expenses, where are the expensive specialty shops, etc.  The energy here really triggers people steeped in their money rich/energy poor lifestyles.

How does this relate to the flow of money?  Clearly the Southern California energy is far out of the flow, yet objectively they have more (yet everyone feels poor there).  Pensacola is much more connected to the flow, yet they seem to have little to show for it.  But if you keep digging, you see evidence that the stronger flow is raising the community.  And more importantly, it's elevating in a way that is aligned much more closely with spiritual truth, which means while the "paper wealth" will burn away (sometimes literally, like the recent fires in LA), the areas in the flow will continue to grow.  

What does this mean for you?  For now the takeaway is to learn to identify the different energies and feel into their inherent truth.  It's challenging to do this when you live in a location, so finding an objective distance helps.  Noticing these things will help you notice these patterns in yourself.  For example, I've been immersed in "mass leakage," "keeping up with the Joneses," and "never enough" patterns my entire life, to the point I'd become nose-blind to their toxicity.  Finding that awareness is the first step to deprogramming those patterns to reclaim true financial flow.

There's more to talk about, but allow this to serve as a wake-up call for gaining true awareness and energetic sovereignty.  

Empty House Vision Revisited

I was thinking again about that "empty house" vision I posted about in 2019.  Thinking about all the changes that happened in my life between then and now, and how that vision, and my relationship to it, has changed.

And as I thought about it, I also thought about Bob Dylan.  Because he is one of my favorite musicians.  He was very influential when I was in high school, inspiring me to write poetry and try my hand at writing novels.  Recently I rediscovered my love for his music and the impact of "Highway 61 Revisited," which brings me back to here.  

This is my house.  The backside.  In a once-in-a-lifetime snowstorm.  It's often unoccupied.  The rest of the time it's just me.  And it's not empty.

 

This was my house in Thailand.  Put every penny I had into it at the time, and then some.  It's now always occupied and not mine anymore.

A house has been a critical part of my evolution pretty much since I got out of college.  Bought a house right away with my first wife and after the divorce I made sure she could keep it so our son would have a stable place to grow up.  It served its purpose - he's grown up to be a great young man and a father of his own.  That house was always a piece of crap - old, busted, terrible area - but I loved owning a home and making it a home and missed it when I left.  

For years I tried to find myself in various ways, and had some successes and setbacks.  I found a spiritual home in Thailand as I was evolving in my spiritual journey.  I ended up paying to have a house built in an area my wife wanted (which I wouldn't have built there if I knew then what I know now).  It's a nice house - simple but beautiful, a really good house.  The only problem is, while Thailand might be my spiritual home, I realized at some point I would never live there.  Her family ended up moving in and retiring there and it's worked out well for them.  So what I thought was my spiritual and "forever" home was a (VERY expensive) stepping stone for me and a home for a really nice family that's had to suffer a lot through their lives and deserves happiness in their later years.  

It was around that time when I wrote about the "empty house" vision.  You see, while I'd been creating homes for others, this was a period in my life when, once again, I had no home.  I knew California certainly wasn't my home and had grown to resent it.  Thailand wasn't my home.  And as much as I tried to "have a home" in each area, the universe drew me in another direction.

Sometimes the interpretation is too obvious to consider.  I really needed a home.  A man needs a house of his own.  And I'd being giving away, well, pieces of myself, to others.  Acts of love but also acts of neglect toward myself. They were fulfilled, I was empty.

I started exploring Florida in 2021-22 and at the end of 22 bought a house in Pensacola, Florida.  My plan was to use this as a toehold in Florida, rent it out and figure out later what to do with the equity when the time was right.

And in this case, the universe again pushed me in a different direction, first by hooking me into the Florida lifestyle and then by "blessing" me with shitty, unreliable tenants who completely trashed the beautiful little house and then left without paying their rent.

So, out of love for the house, the area and lifestyle and frustration with being a landlord, I decided to take the house back to live in, even if only a little bit.  I took the house back for me.  

And that decision turned out to be magical. 

The first thing I did when starting to furnish the place was to create a meditative/spiritual space.  But I've grown to discover that every aspect of the house, and my experiences there, has had a huge spiritual impact on me.

Yes, I've been going there alone, for the most part.  Sometimes I'd bring my son and we'd share vacation time.  The rest of the time it's just me.  But I had a home now.  And it feels like home.  It's cathartic, it's grounding, it's inspirational and fulfilling.  Filling.  Yes, that "empty house" is being filled, with every jet-lagged trip, with more and more experiences, energy and revelations.  And furniture and art and stuff.

It's like the soil where I can take root and grow.  And I didn't even really know how much I needed this.  Some people love a nomadic life.  I need a castle.  Even if that castle is a three-bedroom house in Pensacola.  Maybe especially so. And I've made it into my castle.

And much like the king, I don't spend much time in it.  But it's there.  And because it's there and I do return, I'm starting to find myself growing into the kind of man who can command a castle.  I'm challenging myself to grow and deepen.  I'm rediscovering practices I'd put aside that now "stick," perhaps because the practices are no longer theoretical, they're tangible.

When I wrote about the "empty house," I asked myself how can I create something out of emptiness?  The answer is so simple, you bring an intention into that emptiness.  You speak the word and the universe begins creating that thing, sometimes at cross purposes with your "plans."

I literally created three homes out of nothing - NOTHING.  I was basically broke when we bought the first house, and it saw a life come into this world, grow up, and create life of his own.  I created a house in Thailand out of nothing - again I was broke.  I created this house in Pensacola basically out of an intention to live in Florida.  And then the intention materialized when I thought I "wasn't ready."

And I still lie awake in bed (not so much these days, but up until early 2025), worrying about how I'm going to make this work, that I'm going broke on this "pipe dream," paying rent and a mortgage, flying out all the time.  And yet, somehow, it's not just working - I'm flourishing.  All those lessons I tried to learn that felt so hard years ago, that I "gave up," are coming online, almost like they were always there and I just needed to be in a place to accept them.  

Suddenly I wake up and realize, I'm not just fishing and escaping reality.  I'm fucking BUILDING a reality, for the first time in YEARS I have a reality.  Maybe a fishing rod is my magic wand and I just couldn't accept that something I truly enjoy for myself could actually be the foundation of my evolutionary work.  That limiting belief that "fishing is just a hobby" or "fishing is an escape" or "fishing isn't sexy" is just, well, someone else's bullshit and not mine.  

Fishing is an integral part of me.  Even filleting fish is a spiritual practice for me - I used to say meditative, but it's even more primal than that.  It's a connection to the source and cycle of life, where my soul's essence connects with the earth's life essence.  I connect with the sun, I connect with the wind, I connect with the water, I connect with life, and my soul connects with it all.  

That is powerful, sexy shit.  

I always wondered why some women would look at me "that way" when I'm sunburnt, hands covered in fish and bait slime, dirty, tired, hauling my kayak or surf cart back to the car, or why my wife likes that I fish.  Maybe they're sensing that deeper energy running through me, that I hadn't even been aware is there.

When I was a kid, I remember my dad saying how much he loved watching me fish or coming back from a day fishing.  He said that's when I was my real self.  I think... yeah.  That's right.

And so, my life is filling up.  My "house," and actual house, is filling up.  And the emptiness is gone.  And I'm consciously figuring out how to create "something out of nothing."  And I've been doing it pretty much my whole life.

The Trump Landslide and the Spiritual Realignment

 My first response to the election was "WHAT A RELEIF!"  That was when I saw Florida had rejected the very stupid and evil initiatives to legalize pot and unlimited abortions.  When I saw Trump and Rick Scott won in a landslide, I was hopeful for what the rest of the country would do.

And then the landslide materialized.  And a sense of relief changed into a sense of spiritual realignment.

This has been going on since the summer when Biden was humiliated in the debate and Trump survived an assassination attempt.  That was where the forces of evil really showed themselves, and also where it was clear the Luciferian forces were dying.  

They ousted a duly-elected President (sorry, Trumpers, Biden won legit in 2020) who was also duly nominated, after spending years covering for his mental infirmities and outsourcing the Presidency to the Deep State.  

That was after they literally tried to kill Trump, and failed.  The "stand-down" orders that led to the shooting were from the top of the Deep State chain of command, as were the orders to the media to basically bury what was one of the most important events in a generation.  And the mainstream media buried it because they were complicit.

Everything that happened after that was the desperate flailings of the Luciferian elite.  The whole Kamala Harris "Joy" nonsense, the summer fake polling (Rasmussen did a great job exposing this fake - Trump was ahead by his winning % the entire election cycle), the trials, all desperation moves.

But this time, every move was countered by the forces of light.  Elon Musk refused to allow the media to manipulate the news and ended up becoming the most reliable source of news in the world.  He kept the Trump shooting story alive until they had to fire someone.  Eventually he supported Trump.

Then RFK, Jr. endorsed Trump right after the Dem convention, a brilliant counter that threw the elites off completely.  RFK Jr. got the last laugh - if you can't beat them, join the other team and beat them anyhow.  He ended up being the most consequential Democratic Party candidate of 2024.  Suck it, Fauci.

After that, everything fell into place and the wheels fell off for the Luciferian elite.  They even tried to campaign with Liz Cheney, the face of the most evil elements of the Republican Party, and had the ost evil people from Hollywood and the music industry at their rallies.  It was like they were gathering all the forces of evil together, so the forces of light wouldn't have to track them down one by one.  Thanks!   

The election was an affirmation (though a relief, since it gives Trump full power to dismantle their newtork), but the realignment happened earlier.

Other signs, the hurricane season, while severe for some, was still significantly weaker than all the predictions.  The oceans are realigning and the need for intense chaos is significantly less. We're seeing other signs, here on Earth and elsewhere.  The near-extinction of Hamas and Hezbollah, the economic collapse of China are other examples.

Where we go from here - there will be major world shifts, but less violent and disruptive than initially predicted.  China and Russia have basically no choice but to get in line and drop their expansionist agendas.  Look for a peace accord in Ukraine, the end of Iran nukes (and possibly the regime), North Korea suing for peace, and China making efforts to become a better world citizen. They really don't have a choice and they know it.

China will face a severe economic recession over the next 3-5 years which will diminish their influence.

Look for a global movement away from the "woke agenda," as the Luciferian power is now cut off from that agenda.  Look for a movement away from the insane and unhelpful "green agenda" toward something more balanced and sane ("all of the above").  Europe will have no choice but to go along, with the US and Asia calling the shots.  

False Light Matrix people will have a very hard time of it.  I see a lot more deaths and severe hardships in this group - it's already happening at a rapid rate.  I'd like to see them give up their ways and change, but they won't and I don't see any other path but literal extinction.  Their energy has been cut off and they know no other way.

Genuine light workers, on the other hand, will see a massive improvement in their life situation.  They've had a really hard time of it for years and years, but that's all changing.  The sources of the massive attacks are dying, so these people can finally build happy, normal, peaceful, prosperous lives.

I see a lot of prosperity emanating from the forces of light and raising a lot of boats.  Not everyone will benefit - those aligned with Lucifer will suffer tremendous economic and personal hardship.  Countries like Iran are going to suffer a lot more before they change and things get better.  But for "normies," things will finally get better, a LOT better.  

And that's where most of the real relief is coming from - the lifting of that massive energetic oppression that's been crushing us for years and years.  We can finally breathe and live our best lives.  And THAT is a very, very good thing.    

Hurricane Meditation and Undoing Into Flow

 I'm meditating into the energy of the building current hurricane in the Gulf, flowing with and transmuting the energy.  Finding the flow.

It's been a process of establishing a new life and finding that flow, or letting that flow find me.  Things are different.  I knew they would be, but at the same time I didn't really know what that meant.  In the end, it means letting go, honoring my path and purpose and feeling into that energy flow.

As usual, I think far too much when it comes to establishing a new life path.  Some of this is necessary - I'm now living in two places on opposite sides of the country in more ways than geography.  I had to create a second living environment, and then deal with the realization that it's really my only living environment, as it's the only environment where I'm actually living.

Now the energies of my prior practice and this new established reality are merging and things are coming into focus.  I don't have to worry about things like money or making sure I have what I need, because I have what I need.  I don't have to force meditations, I'm beginning to understand that.  

I create intentions and then I allow the meditative and alchemy practice to build itself around that intention.  And then in the moments I least expect, energetic flow finds me.  I stop trying to attain something and feel into that energy and for those moments life becomes timeless and immortal.  

Now is when I understand why I'm taking the energies of the hurricane season and bringing them into my energy field, transmuting them.  It creates the energy and space to really flow.  

Aah, there's that inner peace.  There's that new-old-new reality, the creation and reconnection and birth and return of the Prodigal Son all in one.  

Now I understand why it's so important to create this home in Florida.  I mean, I loved it before this moment, but I'm beginning to feel into the deeper importance, the deeper flow and purpose.

Even looking at this screen saver picture of Pensacola Beach has a different feel and meaning.  

Some thoughts coming up now:

Life is eternal.  Life is short, but there is time.

Make good decisions.

Own your mistakes, don't let your mistakes own you.  This alone can sometimes be the difference between a good and bad decision.

Flow is a practice.  Sometimes you have to practice flow before you experience it.

The misses are as important as the hits.  It's all important.  But taking it too seriously doesn't help.

Avoid withdrawal and escape.  Solitude is beautiful if it is conscious. 

Don't force, flow, but gentle effort sometimes needs to be applied.

Experience is never an escape.  Escape is rarely an experience.  

Spiritual Cleansing in Florida

In 2022 I began getting called to go to Florida, and then to begin preparations to move there.  I bought a house end of 2022 and by the end of 2023 the tenants had left and I was splitting time between living in Florida and living in California.

At first I couldn't understand why the universe wanted me to do this so quickly - it's costing me money and time.  But it's becoming money and time very well spent.  I've made a part of the house into my spiritual meditation area, something I really haven't had up to this point.  I've made the entire house into a place of good energy, with crystals and religious items throughout the house.  I've made it homey and beautiful as well.

And now I'm realizing it's not the items, or the space, or the meditations.  The entire experience of being in Florida is my spiritual practice, my personal cleansing.  Every time I come to Florida I go back looking younger and feeling more relaxed, cleaner and stronger in my energy.  I have new insights and breakthroughs.

The fishing isn't just fishing for fun, it's a spiritual practice in itself.  So is the yardwork.  So is relaxing with coffee and watching the rain fall.  So is working out in my house.  All of is is part of the essential spiritual cleansing process.

I meditated and asked for a spiritual breakthrough at the beginning of my last trip to Florida.  At the end, I knew I'd experienced that breakthrough, which was confirmed.

It's more than just a place.  It's more than just a house.  It's more than just meditation.  It's more than just fishing.  It's an essential part of my spiritual being, a necessary part of my journey, an investment in my personal and spiritual growth.  I can breathe again.  I see clearly again.  My mind is centered.

It's more than just clearing the crap and bullshit of California out, it's about re-awakening what's inside, and awakening more than ever.  I'm opening up new channels, awakening new insights, clearing out blocks and bad patterns, and having epic fishing adventures.  

It's more than just a choice, so much more than a vacation home or an option.  It's a necessity.  It's an investment - yes, in a property, but more importantly an investment in myself.

Thank you.  More, please.

Energies: Florida vs California. It's Clear as Day.

It's very noticeable, the difference in energies between California and Florida.  I'd say it's obvious to anyone who can notice energies.  I've pulled out some beach fishing pictures to make an "apples-to-apples" comparison, to highlight the differences.

When I'm in Florida, my energy is completely different.  Very relaxed, very open.  My energy work is MUCH more effective, my connection with my clients is better.  Even my work at the office is more effective and in flow.  

When I return to California from Florida, I still carry that higher vibration, but I can feel the difference. The energy in CA is heavy, thick and heavily polluted.  It's like trying to run through quicksand. It's draining and stressful. 

It's one thing to say "Florida is awesome and California sucks."  And while that's actually true and a pretty apt summary of the energy differences, it doesn't tell us much.  So let's look at the energy.

The above picture is a "skunk day" in Pensacola, FL, and a sunset.  December 2023.  You can feel the energy in this picture.  Simply meditating on this picture can raise your vibration.  It's not just the aesthetics, which are pretty awesome, it's the "vibe" of the photo.  This is the energy of Florida, they all have this feel to them. In fact, they're good "Natural Grounding" resources.

Now here is a "catch" beach photo in Southern California.  So the circumstances are good, but the energy is so different.  There's this thick, heavy fog like molasses.  It's draining and difficult to look at for a long period of time.  That's "California energy."  Sure, it's a beach, similar time of year, and beaches are nice, but the energies are nothing alike.

So now let's look at my energy , because that tells you more.  So here is one in Pensacola where I just caught a fish.  I'd had a long overnight flight and a ridiculous layover, but my energy is still really high vibration here.  You can see the relaxation and rising vibrations.

 Now let's look at a "I just caught a fish" picture in Southern California.  Same experience, I'm in better health (I had a cold in the above picture), more rested, and yet the energy is MUCH lower vibration.  Lots of stress and tension, lower vibration overall.  Even the background here has that crushing, draining overall energy.  Pretty skies, pretty ocean, pretty clouds, shitty energy.

I think that's enough.  Other pictures would just be the same difference.  The energies are the same and the differences are the same, too.  This isn't really about the politics, the people, taxes, cost of living, or the quality of fishing.  Although the populations contribute to the overall energy, there's also a higher source involved.  And that higher-level energy is visibly different.  It's also likely that this energy affects the population more than the populations affect the energy, unless the population is particularly high-vibration.

And while the California "spiritual community" imagines itself as high-vibration and Californians imagine themselves "evolved" and "enlightened," the opposite is the truth.  California energy is particularly bad.  Californians energy is particularly bad.  The energy of the California "spiritual community" is atrocious, it's almost 100% Satanic and very toxic.  Hopelessly so.  

So, no, Californians are not special, evolved, unique, or anything even vaguely resembling awesome.  Californians are toxic, weak, vacant, subservient, paranoid, and particularly stupid and conformist.  They're some of the worst people in the world.  And the energies of California are some of the worst in the world.  Did the people create this energy?  No.  The energy molded the people.  It wasn't always like this.  

I can remember when the energies in Orange County, California were pretty good.  But that past feels like an alternate universe now.  There's no way to go back to that energy.  It's hopelessly toxic and never going back to the "good old days."  That California is dead.

But the good news is the handful of high-vibration people who are suffering in California can escape and heal.  The energies outside of California are much better.

Like, for example, Florida.

Flood in Burning Man and Other Interesting Side Effects

 

I forgot to mention some important things in my last post.

Lately my ability to transmute energies from Florida has grown stronger.  I’ve been transmuting water energy – reducing the strength of storms in the area – and using that energy for personal use and other things.  And here’s what’s come up:

• ·California had a hurricane come out of nowhere that went through the southern part of the state

1. · Burning Man had surprise record flooding that stranded people during the festival

There have been other interesting events as a result of this activity, and it eventually produced my personal timeline shift.  It also greatly enhanced my ability to do wok for others. 

In the case of the hurricane and the rain at Burning Man, I didn’t specifically ask for these things, but the energies have to go somewhere, so I guess subconsciously I did. Probably consciously, too, if I’m being honest, though I have a spotty track record when it comes to consciously manipulating physical energies in such a manner. 

Of course in the case of Burning Man, it was long overdue karma, and there’s more where that came from.  I wouldn’t wish it on them, but I wouldn’t not wish it on them, either.

Energies have expanded even more since the major timeline shift this weekend.

Timeline Shift Out of California

 

This weekend I officially, on a spiritual level, filed for divorce from California. 

I know that seems weird to say, just like a lot of things I write here, so what’s new?  The thing is, this is exactly like a toxic relationship.  I’m born and raised in California, and as much as I like to think I’m good at this whole “changing thing,” I’m actually not. And it’s my inability to efficiently pivot when it becomes clear a situation is bad for me has caused a lot of unnecessary suffering, expense and wasted years.

I’m not a nomad by nature.  I like to stay where I am, build roots and create something good in my home.  So that “home” is really important.  I’m born and raised in California, now over fifty years (which actually sounds good, not bad).  Most of that has been in the Los Angeles County area, which really was never my “home.”  LA area has a much different feel than Orange County and to me it’s always been dirtier, more crowded, lower-class and second-rate. 

So I’ve been spending a lot of time creating a home in a place I really don’t like and am only in because I have to be here.  But it’s never felt right and at some deep level I’ve been killing time in this second-rate suburban section of the craptacular Los Angeles area. 

Maybe I liked it some a while back, but the disconnect becomes worse and worse over time.  And I’d complain, but it was like the spouse in a toxic relationship who keeps complaining but never moves on, for whatever reason.  Even during COVID, when it became obvious I despise the huge majority of the people in this state (if LA sucks, the Bay Area swallows). I even felt alienated from my alma mater football team – you can only tolerate absolute crap for so long before even the strongest loyalty erodes.

In my mind I think “yeah, I’ve moved on from California.”  But I hadn’t.  Anger and frustration are not emotions associated with “moving on,” they’re associated with “hanging on.”  I was angry because deep down I still didn’t want to move on. 

Yes I bought a house in Pensacola, Florida.  Yes, I was living my best life far away from California, and felt miserable when I’d return.  So I was moving in that direction, but still pushing the ball uphill.

Then something switched, and it felt like this weekend the whole timeline shifted.  I did meditations where I asked the archetypes to remove all spiritual and emotional attachments to California and remove all blocks to creating a new home in Florida.  And it may end up my home isn’t Florida, or it is, I have to be open to all possibilities on that front as well.

And soon after that moment is when the whole timeline and reality changed in front of my eyes.  Things were somewhat familiar but also completely different, multiple Mandela Effects, and a very different thought process.  And at that point I felt, I’m not a Californian. Now I’m a Floridian.  And down the road, who knows?  But I do know this isn’t my home, which means I’m not responsible for it, which means I don’t need to get upset when things don’t work out in California.  It’s not my problem.

I was so passionate about Cal football and basketball, but poof, not anymore.  They’re a team a root for, but I’ve accepted they suck and it just doesn’t matter.  I got a degree there, but it’s really not my school or teams anymore, and hasn’t been for a while now.  I’ve been attached to Florida State since before I moved to the Panhandle, and that might have been some of the draw for choosing that area to buy a house. Kind of bandwagon, but more “supporting the home team.”  The thing is, I became a fan in 2021 when they were a bad team, but their fans packed stadiums and gave a big F-You to the COVID fascists.  That and I really like what Mike Norvell has done there.

And, yah, whether up or down that’s a program that prioritizes winning in football and men’s basketball. (Yah, their basketball team sucked last year, but 25 years of coaching success in the ACC is nothing to sneeze at, even with a bad year.)

But more than that, the whole energy shifted.  It’s all different.  Even the way I meditate and do alchemy now is different, everything.  And all the signals show this isn’t home anymore and those roots are completely gone. 

So I changed some things that connect to the old home, and I’ll be changing more.  Even if I’m physically here, I’m already gone.