I’m very sensitive to energy, but I also react a lot more
than I’d like to. Certain people’s
energy just pisses me off, and I really don’t like that. Clearly there is some expectation or values
judgment going on here. I really need to
be able to look at energy objectively and make clear assessments free from emotional
reaction.
It’s not that my reactions are “wrong,” in almost every case
my reaction is to something in that person’s energy and the reaction is my
defense mechanism to keep that shit out of my energy. And I believe the emotional component is
because I haven’t been good up until recently with establishing clear energetic
boundaries, I’d let pretty much anyone in unless I forcefully kept them out.
But that’s not an appropriate response now. I have clear boundaries, that energy isn’t
going to bother me. There’s no reason
for me to get angry over it.
And I’m not even sure the emotional reaction is having its
intended effect, it tends to elicit a curiosity response – the more my reaction
is to be pissed off, the more my desire to find out what it is that has me so
angry will come up. The better response
is to let it be, observe it from as detached a position as possible, and then
just ignore it. Or if necessary, keep
tabs on it but remain disengaged.
This is a big breakthrough, the realization that I need to
depersonalize my energetic readings in order to be more effective. Judgment,
ego distortion and personalization distort my ability to read the energy a lot.
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