Energetic Heart Opening and the Veil Has Been Pierced

The veil of spiritual denial that has been thwarting awakening energy, especially in my geographic area, was THICK, but veil has been tunneled and now everyone is being impacted by the ascension.  (I strongly encourage you to check out these links to Etienne’s blog that talk about recent spiritual developments.)  Most people are not going to do well in this period – many will fall down before they can rise up. 

In my case, it’s been a very beautiful opening.  The past two weeks have been major stress and stuck energy, as I reported earlier, and a refocusing on meditation and slowing down.

But starting yesterday, it’s like someone pulled the drain plug and all the spiritual crap is flowing down the drain.  It’s a truly beautiful opening.

And as al the psychic and spiritual garbage and stuck energy flows out, things are healing.  The walls are coming down hard, emotions coming up – very intense.  And I’m healing inside, preparing to receive more energy and ascend.

So much of my past has been years of loneliness, sadness, confusion, fear and deep shame.  I’ve never felt like I fit in and I never understood why, I just knew I wasn’t right and I felt terrible shame.

I’ve kept up lots of blocks, lots of walls – all this anxiety and fear and shame – and behind it so much sadness and loneliness and a deep yearning just to be free from the pain and fear and shame and just live my life.

Sometimes things are happening on the inside, weakening the walls, changing my thoughts, and I don’t feel any change.  Then something shifts my thinking and the walls fall like sand castles.  That’s what’s happening.  My system wants to heal, to let go of the pain of the past that I didn’t understand.  But the energy was so stuck I couldn’t do much.  I ended up reacting a lot, hiding from my pain and shame, acting out of anger or trying to lie to myself.

Now it’s okay, I can love myself now. I don’t have to hide, I don’t have to be ashamed.  I don’t have to pretend I’m perfect or worry about what haters think of me.  I can stand up right where I am and be me.  I can stand in my truth and love myself as I am and not have to worry about anything.

I can start letting those emotions process.  I can feel hurt, I can feel lonely and sad.  I can accept myself and others now.  I don’t have to fight, I don’t have to prove anything.  And boy, have I ever. 

I finally was able to heal a recurring pain from childhood that followed me into my patterns as an adult.  I’ve been able to face my tendency to withdraw into fantasy or avoidance, to face head-on my anxieties and feelings of low self-worth.  And the anger and unprocessed rage from repressing these feelings.

All that sadness, confusion, helplessness, loneliness, fear, shame – melting away very quickly, all coming up at once.  And behind that determination, compassion, love and understanding.  And peace.  I’m no longer ashamed of these things from my past, or those experiences and feelings.  And I don’t have to identify with the feelings and patterns, either.  I can understand.  I can love – myself and others.  And I can tap into that vast reservoir of determination to live a better life. 

Because really, things were never that bad, I just needed space to feel what I was too ashamed to feel and then find that resolve and keep going.  Sometimes I need to rest, take care of my body, but my resolve always comes back once I give myself space to heal and clear my energy.

And now energy is flowing in.  I have more resources freed up to deflect attacks, instead of absorbing or reacting.  More powers are coming online.  I’m sleeping better and finding more centeredness and peace.  And I know I’m on my path.  I’m compassionate and understanding about my past, and toward others who suffer the same way (and this is very good), while at the same time not identifying with it or against it.  It’s okay now.  I’m grateful for the understanding and how it can make me a more compassionate person.

I’ve also found some new supplements that seem to really be helping me – maca, an immune system herbal tea, B-complex, a prostate-supporting supplement, fish oil and cutting way back on coffee.  It’s really helping to calm my system and I slept like a log last night.  (Exercising earlier in the day helps a lot, too.)

I see big movements happening this weekend.  There’s a good chance of significant earthquakes in my area, especially with the veil being pierced.  There will be other movements as well, and possibly a surge of creative force from me as my energy comes back online.