Lessons From A Period of Change

The past month has been a period of transition for me – it’s been very interesting.  Periods of being busy, tired, stressed, that “not getting what I want” anxiety, other worries.  And also a period of silence and meditation and introspection that I haven’t enjoyed in a long time. 

And as stressful as this time was – and it was stressful in a lot of ways – I have been committed to using this time to grow, to challenge my old patterns, to create a new way.

And it’s been enlightening.  I see a clear path out of my current debt situation.  I see a stronger and more disciplined meditation practice, as well as a conscious practice of reflection and challenging of my beliefs and habits that it already yielding big results. 

Things are changing, because they had to change.  I had to change inside, to create the space to go to the next level.  And some of that is stressful, and I’ve had to put that aside and commit to the change process.  I couldn’t continue to simply absorb the energetic awakenings while operating under the same personal and psychic system – I’d be fried.

So I’m welcoming this change and trying to find ways to get my sleep and exercise (this has been the hardest part).  And to take the time to address the issues as they come up, without taking any of this personally, as I had done in the past. 

I now have some time alone, and I’m realizing how poor my meditation practice has been.  It’s not easy to build up a meditation practice, but I’m doing it.  I’m realizing how much energy there is when my financial energy is freed up and I can pay down my debt – it’s a HUGE energetic improvement. 

But every movement in this direction is yielding big results.  This week it feels like the pressure is off and I can breathe again.  I meditate and fall asleep easily.  I find that center.

Meanwhile energies around are going crazy.  The veil of spiritual denial is being lifted, though it’s taking a lot longer and a lot more energy than expected.  There’s a whole lot of energetic change and also the same challenges in a lot of other people that I’m going through now. 

So what insights are coming up these last few weeks?  What are the lessons I can bring forward?

First, slow down.  Then slow down more.  And don’t expect this to be easy, it’s a process.

Second, the resistances, the anxieties, the things I hate – these are the places of growth.  All the triggers and negative feelings are the pathway for releasing the old paradigm and opening up space for what’s to come.

Third, everything has to change, and I am not naturally inclined to embrace change.  Even when change is necessary and unavoidable, it’s something my system resists strongly and I have to work through with that knowing in mind.

Fourth, before I can “do what I’m meant to do” I need to fully embrace the process of “not doing,” to fully cease all the many thoughts and actions that are out of alignment.  It is impossible to create right thought and action while holding onto wrong thoughts and actions – one must first open one’s hand and let go of the bad object in order to free that hand for something better. 

Fifth, the process of releasing and letting go is not relaxing and enjoyable – often there is psychic and spiritual stiffness from holding onto the thing that isn’t serving me.  This means releasing is going to be painful and difficult.

Sixth, fantasy, self-pity, anger, blame, fear, worry – these are all patterns of poverty and scarcity.  And I can directly communicate with and challenge these patterns and create significant change in a short amount of time.

Seventh, the more I slow down, the more I focus on releasing, the more I clear and un-stick my energy, the more the positive changes “just show up” without my having to do anything in particular.  So the process of change is mostly a process of getting rid of the junk.

Eighth, none of the outside stuff matters.  Any reaction to stuff outside is only an opportunity to go inside. Football games, politics, stuff on social media – none of it means squat, apart from what I choose to take from it.  So what am I choosing to take?