The Empty House Vision

I have this recurring dream/ vision that I’m in a completely empty house.  There’s not a piece of furniture or anything else in it.  It’s spotless – clean, the air is crystal clear, the temperature is a steady, moderate temperature everywhere.  And there is nobody there, nothing there, just an empty building.

Sometimes a guide brings me there and then she leaves.  The last time there was a guide, she looked like the Thai singer Palmy.  Sometimes I just show up.

Outside is an empty desert – just nothing.  Not hot, not cold, just open and empty.

I get the message that I can create whatever I want, but I don’t know how.  How do I generate what I want from nothingness?  So I feel stuck there, like I’m trapped in a void.  It feels empty, lonely.

The slate is clean, my life is whatever I want to make of it and I can’t make a damn thing.  And there’s nothing there.  And the feeling of emptiness seems to go on forever.

So all the bad stuff is gone, but then there’s nothing but me and I’m alone.

Shouldn’t I know how to create something from nothing?  Shouldn’t I be able to draw from the infinite power of the universe?  But there’s just nothing.

And there’s no backstory.  Am I dead?  Was I transported there? Did something happen?  Where is everyone else? 

That is a big worry of mine, that everything I’m doing will end up being for nothing, that this is all a big waste of time in the end.  It gets to the heart of my lack of belief in some of the spiritual aspects I’m engaged in – what if in the end it’s all bullshit?

I can’t shake that, this feeling of limbo. I do these things, I test them to be accurate, and I still worry that it’s all bullshit.

I test:  my spiritual pursuits are all bullshit – false.

My spiritual pursuits are true and accurate – true.

My doubts are valid and real – true.

So I really am in some state of limbo – I’m drawn to a certain pursuit, but I don’t see the point and can’t bring my physical and emotional self to align and accept this as reality.  The dualistic spiritual concept I grew up with is false, but the alternative seems like some lame science fiction novel.  

Things are happening that point to some higher spiritual path, but right now it just feels empty and lonely and a big waste of time.

I haven’t broken through to the physical and emotional levels yet.  I’m still working through internal conflicts and feel kind of lost.

So I guess the empty house is really where I’m at right now.  I’ve cleared out the falsehoods but have yet to receive the truth.  This is not a fun place to be.

Spiritual Death, Energetic Blocks and How Far I've Come

It still amazes me how quickly and thoroughly my physical world will shift to reflect the changes in my energetic world.  I had written about how I wasn’t the same person I was even three years ago.  Then yesterday as I was headed to work I saw a cool wooden trunk left outside for someone to take – so I took it.

Last night I “packed the trunk,” which involved cleaning the energy of the trunk and its contents, and also “unpacking” a lot of things I haven’t looked at in a while.

I found some cool stuff.

I found a travel itinerary for my first trip to Thailand in 2003.  I found poems going back to 2001 that I thought were gone.  I found memories of my first (second) trip to Thailand when I was creating my new reality that has led to where I am today.  I even found a copy of Jaques Tombazian’s “Path to the 5^th Dimension” that I thought I’d lost, but had apparently kept.  I guess I knew that alchemy was going to be a permanent part of my life – and that I wasn’t ready then for all of it.  (I ended up buying it again, along with the “Philosopher’s Stone” book and meditations, but there’s a certain energy in that old book that’s valuable for me.)

And I found this poem I wrote in 2007, a couple years before I began my journey with Destin Gerek and other masters:

“Trapped In Front of the T.V.”

I could be reading something,

Or writing something,

Or learning something,

Or doing something,

Instead of sitting her in our marital bed

Watching some crappy shows

Like a retarded monkey.

 

I’m flinging poo at my life.

 

I tell myself I’m doing this for her,

Because she’s not feeling good,

Because she can’t go out,

So I’m taking care of her,

Comforting my pregnant wife

By pissing away another evening.

 

My manhood is being smothered by Styrofoam and bullshit.

 

This is how I comforted my college girlfriend

By wasting so many nights

Watching motherfucking “Home Improvement,”

Or like how I comforted myself in high school

When I calmed the pan of my dateless existence

By jacking off to Mexican infomercials.

 

I could have started a band,

I could have written a novel,

I could have learned a language,

I could have traveled,

I could have found a hobby,

I could have found an interesting college girlfriend

Who would actually get out of her fucking bed

Every now and then,

And not wasted so much of those college years.

I could have dumped the eventual ex-wife before marrying her,

Saving myself years of misery,

I could have killed myself

-Anything-

But instead, I watched TV,

Sedated myself with the narcotic

And gave up years of my life

To the fucking TV,

Goddamn motherfucking piece of shit TV.

It was the heroin that let me sit

In my boiling pot,

My mind, body and spirit

Boiled into shit soup.

 

Fuck TV.

 

The few best years of my life happened

When I could honestly say

“I don’t really watch TV.”

I thought she would understand.

We were doing so much living.

It wasn’t until it was too late,

After I’d committed,

That everything changed

And I realized

I was wrong.

Not those days are over

As I sit in the bed,

Not sleeping,

Not having sex,

But hating my life,

Wasted, worthless, watching

Fucking

Shitty

Waste of time, electricity and space,

Stinking

Crappy

Boring

Mind numbing

Idiotic

Bloodsucking

Television.

 

June 11, 2007

 

When I say I don’t recognize the previous me, I mean I have no idea who that guy was back then.  I can remember the suffering, and why I rationalized putting up with that misery when I was obviously very unhappy, but the tone of angry helplessness, the repeating cycles, the disempowerment, the self-neutering attitude and behavior – who was that asshole?

What’s even more amazing is, since that poem, I’ve done ALL the things (well, not the band, but that was never on my to-do list) I listed that I could be doing if I wasn’t wasting my life pretending to care for people I obviously didn’t like.

Yes, including killing myself.  I’ve experienced at least three complete spiritual deaths (including one this year) since this poem – and NONE prior.

And I can honestly say, since I left that shitty marriage, I really don’t watch TV, except for occasional sports and kids’ stuff with my son.  And yes, it makes a HUGE difference in life.

What’s also interesting is something inside me knew I was meant for a greater path.  The poem isn’t really me whining that I’m not doing the fun things I want to do, it was my soul crying out to be freed to live its purpose, to be free of the sedation of a mediocre relationship that isn’t on my path.

I also found the last remnants of cards from my ex-wives.  I thought I’d thrown everything out, but there were still these.  As soon as I disposed of them, and the rest of the garbage bag full of crap that wasn’t serving me, I felt my energy instantly lift.  And when I consciously cleaned the energy of the trunk and its contents, my energy lifted again. 

My environment makes a huge difference in my energetic expression.  For a long time I was stacking the deck against me, trying to elevate my energy while allowing energetic poop to fester, massively slowing my progress.  As soon as I get rid of the crap, I uplevel.

I used to think people who are hypersensitive to their energy field were just weak-spirited people.  Partly because a lot of the people who run around smudging and carrying crystals really are borderline hypochondriacs – sorry, it’s true.  The huge majority of people who are working with energy are just trying to get by in life, so for them “energy blocks” are more self-limiting beliefs and shadows manifesting as “toxins.”  So I took a lot of that with a huge grain of salt – I’m dealing with energy from the universe, who cares about a piece of paper or ionized water?

And while I still question the idea of spending a ton of money on food and water that isn’t any better quality than the cheaper produce and filtered tap water (financial stress is an energy drainer, too, so how is wasting money at Whole Foods helping?), and still see hypochondria as a serious problem in the spiritual community, I have to say environment and lifestyle matters a lot.

It’s like trying to do the high jump with leg weights.

So things like clutter and memories from when I was mistreating myself in bad relationships matter a lot.  And even things prior to a spiritual transformation that aren’t “toxic” can become so if they aren’t reintegrated.  I have to consciously “re-choose,” and often re-purpose the things that are in my life.  Or I need to let them go, not because they’re bad but because they’re no longer of value to me.

And sirens all night in my neighborhood last night.  Always happens when I’m experiencing an energetic breakthrough.

Challeges and Awakenings

This journey keeps getting bigger and more incredible.  It seems like I’m on a two-day evolution cycle.  Friday was massive energetic attacks, lack of sleep, fatigue – things getting in my way, frustration, self-doubt.  Then Saturday was highest energy – unbelievable levels of personal attraction, highest vibration, a whole new way of being.

Then last night was another vision dream to let me know my issues are not resolved – I’m still carrying other people’s junk and it’s REALLY stubborn.  But getting rid of it will open up all kinds of things.  In this vision, I was trying to connect with someone and we were at some hotel (on vacation – I think New York) where other people were in my room and one was in my bed.  In this dream I’d had enough, found the front desk and told them this was unacceptable.  The woman at the counter agreed and went to work to fix the situation.  It ended with me still being upset but with things getting done.

So this is where I’m at.  I’m still holding onto other people’s junk – and even people themselves – in my personal space, and it’s interfering with my purpose and expression.  But things are happening and the problem is being fixed.  I am holding onto some resentment for letting this happen (and a lot of this was uninvited, so there’s some portal or external oppressive energetic crap going on).

And it’s time to let go of that anger too.  The anger may have been justified but it’s past tense.  I allowed the junk in because of fear.  I found courage and resolve and stopped the intrusion.  Now I’m kicking out the stuff and intrusive entities, but it’s time to move on to the next phase and not wallow in resentment.  Pretty straightforward message. 

So at this point – keep removing the junk, get the people out of my sacred space, clear the area and move forward without a second thought.  And get ready for the next massive level of evolution, because more incredible things are coming. 

These attuned objects are absolutely amazing.  I finally spent some time playing the singing bowl and it’s amazing.  I couldn’t get a clear audio without external sounds, so I’m not ready to post audio (I could – the energy is still unbelievable), but will very soon.   This is going to be the next big phase.

"Narcissism" Revisited: Energetic Oppressors, Different Roles and Dr. Phil

As I’ve gone through my personal inquiry around “Narcissism,” getting to know and understand my inner Narcissist and how to change for the better, I’m finding myself increasingly curious about the “anti-Narcissist” movement, particularly this therapist I came across during this experience.

I’ve seen a lot of memes around Narcissists and other “sociopathic” disorders.  Before this inquiry, I’d reject them as obvious projection (and a red flag for the people posting them).  This inquiry has given me some more understanding and perspective, though I still see massive flaws.

As much as I disagree with the therapist’s dogma and demonization of people who have certain traits that fall mostly into “grey-area” toxic behavior, I actually agree with the entire gist of what she teaches.  The behavior and relationships she talks about are not at all healthy and the best thing to do is disengage completely.  Totally 100% agree. 

And her tactics, while seemingly extreme, actually make sense.  A lot of people, and particularly women, place an unusually high value on “staying in a relationship,” something I personally believe holds no inherent value and actually does more harm than good as it provides cover for people to mistreat others and stifles personal growth.  It’s tough to crack through that on an emotional level (and even a social-rational level, the deck is really stacked against the therapist here).  To get through, she has to invent a bigger evil – the “sociopath” – who is the enemy of humanity.  Then she can break through the delusion and help her clients start treating themselves with respect.

It’s possible (and likely) this therapist knows she’s taking things to the extreme, but sometimes you have to shake the tree to the roots to dislodge the rotten fruit.  So while I don’t believe most of these “toxic” men are irredeemably flawed, I do believe relationships can become so.  And since giving the client any hope of her partner’s redemption will sabotage everything, the therapist has decided the cost (having the client hate her ex on an energetic level) is less than the payoff (the client learning to love herself).

In the long run, from a spiritual and energetic standpoint, this isn’t helping much.  But we all are where we are at in our path.  As I was thinking about this, I was reminded of something from eight years ago.  Back then I was in a hopelessly horrible relationship where we took turns abusing the crap out of each other on just about all levels.  And people did pull me aside and say “you’re in an abusive relationship, get out.”

The truth is, it was far more complicated than that and there were massive energetic conflicts and spiritual entanglements I was in no position to resolve.  At that point, demonizing my partner and disengaging would have been progress (it’s essentially what came to pass), because then, apart from the oppressive energy, I could heal, grow and later find the resources to truly resolve my problems on an energetic and spiritual level – including recognizing how it’s all a projection and taking responsibility for my karma.  But that couldn’t happen until I got out of the maelstrom. 

So while I disagree with this therapist on an energetic spiritual level, I actually support her on an evolutionary level, because it’s progress.  It moves someone out of the hopeless low-frequency cycle of depression/ fear/ anger into courage and on a path toward love.  She’s saving their lives – the lowest frequencies are the energetic “death spiral.”

And it explains some of the things I’d see that “bothered” be because I wasn’t at a level to see the bigger picture.  All the women who play the “victim” card have a very unattractive and troubling energy about them, almost like the energy of a recently-recovered drug addict. They seem very broken and almost hopeless.  It’s obvious looking at their energy the abusive relationship was a projection of their own toxic energy – they either attracted an equally broken person or somehow damaged the person in the relationship until he matched her wounded energy. 

I’ve experienced this dynamic in an unhealthy relationships where a seemingly attractive and successful woman would act jealous and keep me away from my friends until I finally had enough and left, having fallen completely out of love.  It didn’t make sense at the time – she was attractive, the sex was great, I was genuinely crazy about her.  At the time, I chalked it up to “inexperience,” but looking at it now her energy was badly damaged and she was trying to lower my energy to match how she felt about herself. 

I’ve had many disempowering jobs where entire companies would do the same thing to their employees.  The company’s energy was “loser” and they systematically broke down the energy of their employees to be losers like the company.  Then the company would go out of business.  Being aware of this dynamic is incredibly empowering.

Getting back to the wounded women – yes, their energy is clearly broken.  Anyone in “victim mentality” is in a self-oppressed energetic state.  But these women were just barely out of the death-spiral, so this state is a big improvement.  An unethical therapist would keep her clients in this “head-above-water” state and milk them.  Maybe this therapist does.  Maybe not. 

Eventually, after disengaging and reconnecting with oneself, a person can move to a state of real love and find mutually-rewarding relationships. There are much, much higher states above this, but at least here the person can experience mutually-fulfilling relationships.  And for many people, this is enough.  And given the vast multitudes living in a death spiral, there’s a huge audience. 

Dr. Phil, for example, is a master at manipulating oppressed-energy people and deceiving them into believing he’s helping them.  Of course if he was truly elevating people, his audience would evolve to the point they’d figure out he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about and change the channel.  Or stop watching TV, and we can’t have that!  (And if he was truly elevating people his truth would be too controversial for TV and he’d be ridiculed or worse by the forces of oppression – so he sold his soul to the oppressive forces in exchange for money and fame.)

Then again, perhaps this therapist has a bigger vision where her clients move into higher levels of awareness and become true leaders.  There are signs she’s at least familiar with these concepts, even if she’s not implementing them.  And of course even if she isn’t interested in bigger evolution others can take her baton and pass it forward.  Everyone has a role to play if they choose to step into the arena.  So I applaud her work, even if she sees fit to condemn me for my past behavior.

This is a valuable understanding and a powerful insight.  This is what happens when I let go of the need to react and stay with things, putting my ego aside for the sake of real understanding.

Confessions of a Narcissist

I haven’t done much in the way of personal shares since I put this up – too much inspiration flowing through to settle in and actually talk about my journey and what’s coming up.  But I’ve had a chance to take a *little* breath and then something came up today that I had to sit with.

I stumbled across something on social media – one of my ex-wives posted a message on my other ex-wife’s social media about a link to an Anti-Narcissist crusader page.  And, well, I sat with that. 

I know in my prior years I was full of ego and would have immediately rushed into defensive mode, try to “plead my case” to myself.  There was some of that, but very little.  Mostly I just sat with it.

What first came up was a lot of curiosity.  I checked out the web page and some information – interesting but not all that helpful.  Part of me wants to talk about this as well, but again, go back to sitting with it.  What else comes up?

Well, of course I start asking “what if it’s true?”  And there’s a lot of behavior that certainly matches the bad behavior of the hopelessly abusive personality, so let’s keep diving and see what comes up.  Yes, I’ve certainly behaved badly in a number of relationships.  There are a lot of things that match, and a lot that don’t. 

What seems to be at the heart of this personality is total lack of empathy and compassion.  And there have certainly been moments – far too many – in my life where I’ve felt my reservoir of empathy and compassion was almost dry for certain people.  Not everyone, but I’m not sure if this therapist is concerned about the Narcissist’s entire life, just the toxic connection with the client. 

Her solution, interestingly, is one I completely agree with – disengage completely from the toxic relationship.  I agree this is the most powerful step one can take.  After that, the next most powerful step would be to completely release the relationship energetically and emotionally.

And as I thought about this, I felt sadness. First of all, the two wives I ended up being really unhappy with (and making really unhappy in the process) are obviously still unhappy.  They’re hanging out as friends, swapping stuff like this.  And in one case, we separated *14 years ago.*

I suppose if I was a true narcissist, my ego would feel good that my exes were still this hung-up on me, analyzing my personality and all that.  I don’t.  I wish that they would both be so happy with their own lives, and find love and joy and satisfaction, and not give me so much as a second thought, apart from necessary child-care conversations.  (Apparently this heartfelt wish means I’m “not a Narcissist,” according to the therapist – W00T!)

But they haven’t healed.  I don’t think there’s much I can do on my end to help them let go.  All I can do is what I’ve been doing – accept responsibility, find those places of darkness and release them, find and build my reservoir of love, and go forth living a better life.

I’ve spent a lot of time, money and energy focusing on growing out of the cycle of misery I’d created for myself and others.  Far from spending my time blaming others, I’ve been looking deep inside.  And the results have been amazing – I’ve opened up all kinds of channels, healed old wounds, found the places I wasn’t loving myself and have become a much more loving, compassionate, peaceful person.

I’ve been carrying a lifetime of unprocessed pain that I’d been dumping on people I loved in the form of fear and anger.  And the most difficult part of this (but also the most rewarding) has been finding compassion for my ex-wives.  There’s so much anger, pain, shame, TONS of projection, guilt, fear, worry and sadness. 

It’s still a process.  I’m still healing.  It’s easy to stay in the tit-for-tat battle, especially when the fights come up.  And yah, it hurts and it seems unfair that I’m being labelled like this.  I know in my heart these labels are not true and part of me just wants to reject their BS and wash my hands of it all.

But that’s where we stop growing, right at that point where we say “that’s it, I’m outta here.”

Instead, stay with it.  Yes, I caused these two people a lot of pain and suffering.  And no, they didn’t deserve it, and that isn’t who I am and what I’m about.  But I caused a fucking mess, and if something doesn’t change in me, this is all I’ll have to show for my life.  So do I want to be the Fuckup, or the Man Who Fucked Up and Changed for the Better?  Because I either learn from what I did wrong or it owns me.

And deep down, of course, as I go through this, I see it’s all a projection.  My fear and anger lack of love is how I’ve been feeling toward myself.  At some level I didn’t feel worthy of love and hated myself, and it has come out in all kinds of ways – shyness, relationships with people I’m not attracted to, jealousy, anger, self-destructive behavior – but that’s the “what.”  The “why” is a belief that I was irreparably damaged and an unworthy soul who didn’t deserve to be on this earth.

And turning that light inward (the Buddhist teaching), noticing the reflection comes from within, observing the Law of Cause and Effect (so funny that they both feel threatened by my becoming Buddhist, it’s changed my life so much for the better), has been difficult.  Very scary.  And also deeply rewarding.

The big turning point lately was when my higher self told me “you’re not going to hell, it’s okay.”  Shortly after I uprooted an entity in me that had been sabotaging me since birth.  And after that, the panic went away and I felt compassion – for my exes, for the women in my life I’ve hurt, for everyone I’ve hurt, for myself.

I didn’t go on this journey to “get laid” (at first I thought I did, but “Pick-Up” never really inspired me, apart from the “helping guys who are suffering” part – I remember literally nothing), or to be really good in bed (again, thought so, but that’s when I thought I had to be extraordinary to even exist on this planet).  There’s always been something deeper – not just to heal, but to use my learning to guide others, to make the world a better place.

And I don’t know, maybe part of that is saving some “lost souls” that the world is saying can’t be saved.  In my journey I’ve seen some amazing things, some remarkable transformations.

I’ve learned I’m far bigger than my ego wanted me to believe, with a big heart and far more empathy for the suffering of others than I wanted to believe.  Sometimes it’s too much. 

So yah, I care that my exes think I’m this evil monster.  First, because as much as I wish it didn’t, it hurts.  But mostly because it reminds me they’re still very much hurting after all this time.  And that if I’d resolved my own problems earlier in life, all that pain and suffering could have been avoided.  I wouldn’t have married them (because I’d understand myself better and choose more wisely), and I wouldn’t have dragged them through my personal hell.

And as much as my ego can’t stand it, it hurts to see them suffer.  My first ex is still angry toward a babysitter she believes injured our son (at this point, I’m not at all convinced that woman did anything wrong), and it pains me she refuses to let go.  And that’s my karma, too – if I’d honored my heart’s desire, none of that suffering would have ever happened, she and I would have gone our separate ways as strangers and been happy.  So I have to own that, too.

So I don’t know if I was ever really the “Narcissist” I’ve been labeled (but makes for a splashy title, no?), but yah, I’m the guy who fucked up big-time.  And it sucks.  Along the way I’ve met many people who have seen into my heart and saw the beauty that shines inside, only to get pummeled by my shadow.  Some of them stuck with me through it all.  And now I see it too, and it’s the light that guides me forward.

I’ve dug deep and looked into every dark place inside I can find.  It sucks, but it hasn’t been in vain.  I chronicle these journeys because I also have the power to stop the wheel of suffering, for myself and others.

And if there’s anything I can do to help people realize their highest potential, to love fully, to shine – so they’re giving the world light instead of spreading more pain around – that’s what I’m here to do.

 

Personal Update, Alchemy and Dealing With Critics

I moving through Jaques Tombazian’s book “Mystical Alchemy:  The Path to Enlightenment.”  My higher self says the 24-Chakra ascending activation will not take 33 times if I utilize the crystals activated by Etienne while engaging in the meditation, not only speeding up the process but deepening it as well.

Today I completed the ritual to disintegrate unhealthy energies, which I had been engaging in since Monday.  Today I was instructed to go through the ritual twice, the second time with two newly-activated stones and was told the ritual is complete, 100% cleared and healed.  The 8-cell healing is nearly complete.

The activation of the crystals not only called me to this journey but have made the process quicker and more deeply integrated.  I’m not sure how far I’ll be drawn on this process before the next phase. 

Many resources are opening up to me, as well as insights and energetic openings, activations and awakenings.  Powerful shifts are occurring and I’m being called to play a much bigger game.  If you’re here, you’re being called to do so as well, though it’ll look different than mine.

Which brings me to the thought of the day:

On our journey we are often confronted with opposition and skeptics.  Some will engage in energetic opposition and seek to prove their path is more spiritual and enlightened while yours is false or lower-level.  The argument in this case belies the truth, which is the person lacks commitment and connection to their path and is engaging in a form of approval-seeking and power dynamics. There is no point engaging with this energy, it feeds off of conflict.

The second is more persistent in nature – the skeptics.  Skeptics usually claim the mantle of “science,” though in fact their actual connection to science is often minimal to none (they like the “I Fucking Love Science” page on Facebook and fancy themselves on “Team Science” when their actual knowledge of scientific principles and theory is comically absent).

Much like the first set, this set of critics is not really interested in finding truth so much as acting out their own emotional issues, aligned with a non-spiritual paradigm.  In other words, they want validation from the world that they’re reasonable (even if all evidence as seen in their style of argument suggests otherwise) and that their non-belief-belief system is correct.  Again, rarely worth engaging here.

The third one is legitimate questioning.  Here someone is genuinely interested in improving their life and at least open to the possibility this path could work for them.  Often here the questions center on “how does this work?” “how do you know it’s working and not just a false-positive?” “can this work for me?” these sorts of questions.  Interestingly, this person is engaging in a far more “scientific” inquiry than the closed-minded skeptic shouting “SHUT UP!! SCIENCE!!”

And this group will likely include you and me, as we should regularly be questioning everything and ridding our lives of any dogma.  Thus the pendulum and muscle testing – test everything, trust nothing on faith.  So how do we know something is true and appropriate for someone?  Have the person ask their higher self, and observe the results.

I don’t say “crystal activation will massively further your evolution” because playing with rocks makes me feel happy (it does bring me joy, but that’s secondary).  I say it because I listen carefully to my higher self, I listen to my energy, and I observe.  Is my energy elevating and clearing blocks?  How am I engaging with myself and the world that is different? What other effects am I noticing?  If the only result I’m getting is inner feel-good, I’ll express this as my truth.  (It may hold value, but it’s not doing much by itself to further my greater mission in life.)  If on the other hand I’m observing results, then I can attest that it works.  If I observe similar results in others, I have confirmation of my experience, which can be used to further hone the effectiveness of the practice.

I don’t engage in anything that doesn’t work.  I don’t have time for that kind of nonsense.  In fact, I don’t have time for 90% of the things that DO work, I have to be extremely selective in my choice of practices and only utilize the highest-caliber offerings.  And then I carefully articulate and present these to you.

And even then, I never say “this is the way, follow me.”  I’m sharing resources and offering support as we go through our journey.  If it works for you – great!  If not, drop it and find what works.  The measure of success is your ability to walk your path, not my personal batting average when it comes to modality.

Some people are more receptive than others to my energetic-focused style.  Some really just want someone to get them “over the hump” so they can connect with the people they want to meet and have a happy dating life.  That’s fine, there are lots of great resources for that. 

But that’s not me. 

I firmly believe, from my experience and that of many others who have gone down this path, the things I share will elevate your energetic level beyond whatever issue is bothering you – which means not only will your dating life massively improve, but so will your sex life, love life, career, expression and spiritual connection.  But don’t “believe” me, or anyone else.  Don’t make anyone a “guru.”  Live your own life and gather resources from every place that inspires your highest self and put it to work.

It’s not about me.  In the end, it’s about YOU.  My resources and insight can help you tremendously if you’re receptive.  The energy level of my writings alone, plus the pictures and media resources, can elevate your vibrational frequency.  That’s not arrogance, it’s the Law of Resonance.  I write when I’m inspired, literally trembling with energetic flow.  That manifests on the page.  When you read those words, you’re absorbing the energy.

But then don’t kick back and say “aaah, I’m elevating my energy, now let me go grab a beer before I watch some porn.”  Take a moment to then check in with your higher self – is this truth for you?  AND WHAT IS THE NEXT STEP? 

Please, don’t tell me how my writing inspires you and then do nothing with your life.  That’s depressing.  If you’re inspired – show me what you can do with that inspiration – that makes it worth both our whiles.

So again, I’m not a guru.  I hold myself out as a coach only because I know there have been many, many times I needed help on my journey, and that’s my role.  But I’m nothing special.  I’m not perfect, nobody is.  What’s truly special is inside you, and I’m committed to helping those who are inspired to listen activate and express their higher selves.  If you do it while convinced I’m completely full of crap, great.  Glad to be of service.

And if someone challenges you about these practices, show them your life work as evidence.  Because in the end, that’s the only proof that matters