Time to Wake Up

I finished proofing Etienne’s “The History of the Universe,” which took longer than I thought it would.  It’s not easy proofing, and it’s much more difficult when I’m having to also integrate the energy from the book – it seems like every time I read it there’s a new breakthrough.

I’ve reached the point where my life simply cannot continue on the path it’s been going.  I’ve been locked into a path of habit and comfort and my heart is yearning for something different, something my mind still wants to look away from.

This week I received another wake-up call that I cannot expect life to simply coast along.  Things are changing and my reality is changing with them.  I cannot hold onto things, even things I love.  And I cannot hold onto things I dislike or cause me stress, either.  Everything changes and all energy must be allowed to flow. 

When I violate that rule, the tension builds up until there’s a crisis and then I have no choice but to change.  And that’s what’s been happening, I’ve been feeling more stuck, more tired, more stressed, and then something happens and I realize whatever I’ve been holding onto tightly I must let go.

I look at other people around me – their lives don’t change much.  They get to enjoy things and their lives seem pretty comfortable and prosperous.  And while wealth is something that will be available to me as I move forward the comfortable life of ease is not my destiny. Change is a part of my life, and now I’m placing my attention on using that energy to consciously create a future I want.

Things had become comfortable in many ways, but also have gone off-track.   Even when I found comfort, it seems I’d have to fight to keep other people and things from trying to take it away.  But really that’s because I’m not meant to sit still.

While my energy has been expanding, my life has become complacent.  And now, once again, that illusion of complacency is being exposed – nothing stays the same.  I need to be in front of this instead of reacting to external forces. I need to learn this lesson from the past and guide the ship. 

And so I’m spending time in meditation and contemplation, surrendering to the universe and finding my map.  The fatigue and frustration was the sign, the events this week are the wake-up call.

Whenever I find myself fantasizing about doing things differently in my past, that’s my higher self pointing me in the direction of my true path.  My true self is trying to lay the foundation in my timeline to manifest the changes that I need to make to align with my true purpose.  I need to listen to these thoughts and feelings and live my life carrying those lessons forward.

Because I can’t sit still.  The universe is kicking me in the butt and I need to change.