I made a conscious effort this past weekend to resolve some
energetic blocks and imbalances and some pretty big things definitely shifted. Something’s very different about my energy
and I’ve been able to finally let go of some pretty major patterns. I feel a lot more peaceful and more clear on
my purpose.
I’ve been producing a lot of content for Destin’s book
lately, it’s like I finally see how my purpose and his purpose intersect. I struggled for a long time, going through
many, many self-help, pick-up and other programs. I knew things weren’t right, but I struggled
to find a better way.
I started working with Destin as a client about seven years
ago. My relationship with him as a coach
ended years ago, but I’ve continued working with him on many things, helping
him with copy, assisting with his business development and now this writing
project which has been gestating for years.
I’d go through periods where I’d wonder what I was doing – why was I
still drawn to invest so much in this?
And the questions, logically, seemed valid. I’ve found my path and my voice, and it’s not
the same as his. I understand him and
his work very well (that’s why I’m a compatible writer for him), but I think I
always knew from the beginning that Destin’s work is a resource for me, and a
valuable one, but that my path would take me on a much different route.
For one, as much as I have spoken on and on about sex in my
writings in the recent past, I’m not Destin.
I might utilize Tantra and a few other things, and I’m certainly
grateful for the many ways my working with Destin has opened up my world and
improved my life. But in the end, this
is just one aspect of my life. It’s not
the foundation, like it is for him and a lot of the men he likes to work
with.
On the one hand, it’s good to see different ways of
living. It’s been like exploring other
cultures, seeing the Tantra and daka/ dakini stuff. And it’s been good for expanding my
boundaries, instead of just saying “that’s not me” and rejecting everything out
of hand. It’s also nice to find my
happiness and my truth and honor that truth.
Which means I can let a lot of that “Erotic Rockstar” stuff
go. That was never why I joined up with
Destin in the first place. It was never
about dedicating my life to being a sex guru, it was about healing my pain, finding
my own happiness and purpose, and then moving in my own direction.
And as it became clear that he and I are on different paths,
I began to wonder if my working with him was serving either of us, or if it was
just a partnership of convenience. And
now I can see much more clearly that yes, we do have common goals, and I can be
of tremendous help to the world by working with him.
As I mentioned earlier, I suffered for a long time in the “self-help
wilderness.” There’s a lot of crap out
there. I actually read one of Dr. Phil’s
books (the dude’s a total fraud – don’t waste your time on that guy – only a
complete idiot would listen to Dr. Phil on anything) a long time ago. I’ve tried a lot of things – some helped, but
it was all really lacking. I really wish
there had been a book like Destin’s out there when I was much younger – to have
that foundation and give myself permission to explore more things earlier in my
life. I believe this book can help a lot
of men avoid some of the pitfalls and suffering that I went through when
everything felt “out of place” in my life but I couldn’t figure my way out of
the mess.
I’m pouring forth this effort for those men, and for the
women who will be impacted by the changes in the lives of those men. It’s not about my writing career, though I’m sure
it’ll help with that, too. It’s not
about my coaching – though it’s helping me gain more clarity of purpose around
that too. It’s about helping a lot of
people bypass the suffering that I went through (and which I ended up dragging
a lot of other people through as well).
I looked in the mirror last night and I thought “Yah, that’s
it. It’s come together.” I’m solid in my core, I have a sense of
purpose, I feel happy, I’ve let go of some worry patterns and reconciled some
things (some of which are big ones that only resolved over the past week or so
after the veil lifted). I’m me now. It feels good.
I think a lot of people saw the “journey” as me being something
I’m not – whose this guy pretending he’s like Destin? And yah, I never was. I wasn’t trying to be, I just wanted to
expand and look at things from a different perspective, to grow. And I did.
It was pretty costly in some ways, but I’m grateful. On the way, I also discovered some new things
that “stuck” and are now a part of me.
And many things I can now let go that never felt genuine.
But that’s part of the growth process. I found it very offensive when people would
ridicule me for trying something different – I have zero respect for people who
try to keep others “in their place.” But
doing things just to show the haters that I can live my own life isn’t really
growing, either. At some point, I found my own way, found my own peace, and the
voices of the haters just became traffic noise.
I’m not a traditionalist.
I’m not a Tantrika. I’m not a PUA. I’m not an Erotic Rockstar. I’m not a Jedi Master. I’m not any of those things, and I’m a little
of all those things and more. That’s the beauty of a path of growth, it can
transcend and encompass many labels, because it’s not in one place. And that’s
why I can’t wait to see Destin’s book in the marketplace – I want to see more
men walking their path. I want thousands
of men to look in the mirror a few years from now and feel like I do now, that
it’s come together. We all deserve that.
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