Thank You, 2016!

This “going inward” has been difficult but incredibly rewarding. 

This week’s lesson has been embracing gratitude and forgiveness. 

Gratitude.  Man, how long have I been preaching that word and never really putting it to work for myself?  But yes, gratitude.  Gratitude and forgiveness, these are the tools to eliminate stress and find happiness. 

Forgiveness allows our minds to stop wandering back.  We forgive others for the wrongs they’ve done.  We forgive ourselves for things that leave us feeling guilty or ashamed.  Then we can focus on the present.  Until our minds drag us into the future, because things are never good enough in the here and now.

Then at some point I decide, fuck it.  I’m going to enjoy my life, just the way it is, right now.  I’m going to be happy with who I am and what I have now. 

So at this point in my journey inward I tried on gratitude, really tried it on.  And felt how, yes, I have a really good life.  And I do.  I have a lot of really wonderful things in my life, and I put them there.  And I sunk into really enjoying those good things I have.  It felt so good!

And then something clicked, I really have everything I need to be happy.  All these thoughts of “sacrifice” or “going without” are really just looking at things from the wrong perspective.  The questions I need to be asking are “how can I fully enjoy this life, just as it is?” and “how can I get the most enjoyment out of this life without spending any money?”  It’s not hard when I start thinking this way.

The greatest obstacles to my full expression of my power are not external.  It’s not really even a matter of studying, though that’s some of it.  It’s mostly resolving these lifelong internal conflicts, clearing my energy pathways to allow the energy to flow.

Gratitude. Really being with the good things I have in my life.

Gratitude lets go of future-thinking, forgiveness lets go of past-thinking, and then there is just here and now.  Which is great.

Who says 2016 sucked? It sure hasn’t for me.  This year has been my best yet.  Personally, things are really great with my little family at home and my life is good now.  There were some choppy parts earlier in the year, but really even that wasn’t too bad, it was mostly me worrying too much. Things have been good.

The earth is experiencing a massive spiritual awakening, creating all kinds of turmoil but also opening up all kinds of amazing possibilities.  I’m grateful for the awakening energy and the changes it’s bringing about.  Things are getting better and humanity will experience awakening like never before. 

Yes, those who refuse to accept or who are resistant will experience suffering. But if you look, you’ll see in most cases these people were creating massive suffering and energetic oppression in the world.  Now they have to deal with their own energetic attitude adjustment – that’s a good thing.

I’m grateful for my own awakening powers. 2016 was the year my gifts came into my awareness and I set forth on my alchemy path.  Which brought me here.

So thank you 2016.  This is the best year so far, with many more amazing years to follow.

Thank You, Fan!

I want to take this opportunity to say "Thank You" to my supporters out there.  It's because of you I brought the blog back from hibernation.

The last incarnation I had a small, loyal group of fans, but it was always a struggle getting any kind of momentum and some days it felt like more trouble than it was worth.  I'm realizing now this was because I still wasn't speaking my truth, so the blog wasn't giving people enough value.

Now - the fan base is steadily growing, Twitter is continuing to grow and be a real active source of dialogue and information (at around the time I was about to completely give up on Twitter ever offering value).  More importantly, I'm able to reach out and help people, through coaching, collaboration and through sharing my truth with you.

So - thank you.  For those who stuck with me all these years, thank you.  For those just now joining up - thank you.  For those finding value in what I'm doing here, thank you.  It means a lot to me to know my efforts are making a real difference.  It's what gives me the energy and inspiration to keep going. 

The major reason all of this is anonymous is because I want this to be about the message and the value I'm providing to you, not about me personally (well, if you're inspired, I'd invite you to become a coaching client :-)
I want the attention to remain on my message - that's what's really important here - not the messenger.  I'm proud of the work I do, but this here is my chance to give something of value to the universe without people knowing who it is. 

I realize this is a rather counterproductive strategy for developing a coaching practice, but I like it this way.

So here's to you - my fan.  I'll hold a can for you any day. 

Gratitude, Perspective and Dealing With Unpleasant Feedback

I’ve been slammed at work and with energetic attacks today.  I’ve been mulling over a “Heavy” article I want to publish.  In the meantime, I’ve been receiving a lot of feedback on my “Confessions of a Narcissist” article.  I’ve been blown away by the tremendous support I’ve received, both from friends and people I don’t know.

In this work, what makes my day isn’t so much hearing “I enjoy reading your stuff.”  Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate readers who enjoy my writing and I like the positive feedback very much.  I’m grateful for all my readers.  But what really impacted me was the number of people who told me they resonated with my share, how it impacted them and helped them to move through their own experience. 

Because that’s what this is about for me – making an impact.  I had a couple people tell me how they’d been labeled with the “N-word” and went through their own process of reflection.  In hearing their stories and their process of reflection, it’s clear to me this word is being thrown about rather recklessly.  These people are so NOT sociopathic – in fact they’re doing more work to show up as a positive force in the world than 99% of the people out there, most likely including their former partners who are busy pointing fingers.

So I’m honored that my experience is helping other good people in their own journey to betterment.  Thank you.  I gave up blogging when I felt like I wasn’t doing anything positive, that nobody cared.  In looking back, the times my blogging felt disconnected was when I was moving away from my truth and talking out of my ass, or when I devolved into gossip or flame-throwing.  More than ever, it’s critical I stay focused on my purpose.

And I realize I’m not at all alone as being someone whose been handed a serious label and engaged in some deep reflection.  I’m grateful for that process, and I highly encourage every person who is serious about awakening and evolving to take every opportunity to shine light on their shadows, to look fearless into every corner of themselves.

At the same time, I feel compelled to also offer some perspective.  Don’t beat yourself up because someone gave you a label.  That label isn’t you, it’s that other person’s shadow being thrown at you.  If someone calls you a sociopath, and your first response is to inquire within and seek to grow and better yourself, you’re NOT a sociopath – in fact you’re probably light years ahead of most people in terms of growth.

These reflections aren’t about taking other people’s crap.  In relationships that don’t work out, there are always two people responsible (unless it’s a poly relationship, in which case it’s the number equal to the number in the relationship, but let’s not complicate things).  The minute one person decides to blame the other and assume victim status, that person has decided to stop growing.  Just because someone accuses you of being something doesn’t mean you need to do anything with that except treat it as feedback. 

Feedback is useful (to some degree or other); labels are bullshit.  If you catch yourself pointing fingers, that’s your bullshit and you need to cut that out and look at what you’re avoiding.

The best advice I can give when faced with a hopelessly judgmental ex is, first, disengage completely.  Stay away from the toxic crap.  Second, understand it’s the other person’s shadow – this person is processing their own disappointment and suffering and is not perfect.  Third, gain understanding – both of yourself (reflecting on the feedback) and your former partner.  Seek to find that place where you can accept that we are all on our path and doing the best we can.  We are all imperfect and a relationship that doesn’t work out is not a failure unless you refuse to learn from it. 

So reflect fearlessly, take full responsibility, make the changes to create the life you truly want, but don’t take other people’s crap.  At the end of the day, don’t beat yourself up – simply choose a better path and start walking.

And know you’re not alone.  This has been a big awakening for me, and I’m sure it is for many others.  There are many other good people walking a similar path – no matter how isolated you feel, we are all connected.

And thank you again for reminding me why I’m doing this work.

With Love,

Uthaithani