Infinite Generations and Insights of a New Grandfather

 

I am a new grandfather.  Or new as of three months now.  I have a beautiful little grandson, who is adorable.

It’s an interesting feeling.  It’s not the weird craziness I see from other grandparents, but it’s a profound feeling.  And it changes my perspective, much the same way parenting changed my perspective, but in much different ways.

Parenting felt like trying to grow up while helping my children grow up and so many other life things that happened along with it.  Including everything that would fall under personal growth/evolution/spiritual journey.  Everything in this blog would fall under that umbrella. 

Being a grandpa feels more Zen.  If parenting is the cycle of activity and moment-to-moment, grandparenting is taking a step back and seeing a much broader perspective.  It’s the intersection of the past and the future in front of me, and it brings up a lot of thoughts, emotions and insight.

These past few years have been a time of going more inward in my growth path, and wondering if it’s even really a growth path at all.  The recurring feeling is regret – releasing a lot of regret, making peace with my mistakes.  I’ve given up “letting go” and it’s “letting be,” which means allowing things to be as they are, including my feelings of regret.  Because I want to make better use of the time I still have on this earth, instead of mourning the time that’s gone.

And this new experience puts that process in a different light.  On the one hand, I regret my past marriages, especially the first one.  They were horrible decisions. 

And in the case of the first one, anyone looking at it who is objective would see it was a complete mismatch in every way.  Dating her and keeping that going was a huge mistake, marrying her an even bigger one, and the whole sham of a life I created to bridge the obvious mismatch was stupid and dumb.  I settled into a city I never liked (and still don’t), and even sought public office in a place I never wanted to be in.  The whole thing was just weird, bizarre, stupid and wrong.  When I finally woke up from this delusion and left the marriage, I felt vertigo as the false reality completely burned away (because it was nothing but paper mache).  It took me a long time to figure out what that vertigo/panic was, but I understand now.  I tried to fight my way out of reality but in the end reality and destiny won.

And in the end, I got rid of a joke of a marriage with someone who was a complete mismatch but I had this great kid.  And he grew up to be a really awesome young man who is doing pretty well in his own life and has really interesting thoughts and dreams of his own.  So from delusion and regret came life, love and beauty. 

And for me, a generation of life experiences and my own growth path.

Now that young man has a baby of his own.  My grandson.  And here I am, integrating the regret and “WTF?” of my past while realizing that this is my lineage. 

I am looking forward and back at the same time, from a distance.  It’s pretty cool.  My life path isn’t finished.  There is still work and growth for me.  And yet, there are now two generations of “me” following my life.  My lineage will continue long after I’m gone.

And I can see the paradox, that life is both infinitely precious and infinitely insignificant.  I am ultimately this imperceptible part of the infinite chain of life.  And yet I’m also indispensable.  Without me, the chain ends.  The endless string of life following me is dependent on my existence, which is nothing in the grand universe.  We are everything and nothing simultaneously, and I’m holding that living proof of the paradox of life in my hands.

Like I said, it’s pretty Zen.

It makes me realize a lot of the “personal growth” stuff is stupid and meaningless, and at the same time profoundly important.  We strive to create a life of significance, and yet each individual life is insignificant on the individual level.  And yet infinitely precious when extended over time. 

So what insight do I glean from this?  First, most of the work we do to “make a mark” in the world is meaningless bullshit.  Make a life that’s happy for you, take care of the next generation and find your peace.  Simple is better.  Because in the end, that’s all there is. 

I wish I had done more fishing instead of trying to “make a home” in this crappy city, and running for school board.  So, do more fishing now.  I don’t regret the “self-improvement” stuff that actually made my life more enjoyable.  An enjoyable life (not a hedonistic life focused on temporal pleasure) is the foundation of generational growth.  I got that part right with my second son.

But don’t worry about work, apart from how it can bring enjoyment to your life.  The universe isn’t going to give a shit about your career.  Hell, YOU won’t give a shit about your career 18 months after you retire.  Most of the efforts to achieve in school and get the plum job are a waste of effort (unless it’s something you really enjoy).  Your great-great-great grandkids won’t give a shit, but they’ll be glad if you were happy.

What matters in the end is what contributes to the flow of life, the future souls’ journey. You can fuck up pretty good and still make a profound contribution, and you can work hard and do all the right things and have your life add up to nothing in the end.  Are you growing and nurturing the river of life or are you taking from it?  Or are you doing neither and just drying up in the sun?

When you look at life from that bigger perspective, that’s when the true nature of the ego and the infinite mind come into perspective.  Our ego-based lives are utterly meaningless.  They’re not even a grain of sand on the beach.  All the things the ego values mean nothing and are reduced to nothing almost instantly in the greater scheme of time.  Yet our lives, our souls, our contribution to the flow of life, is infinite and we are integral and interconnected.

We are nothing, yet everything.  And in the nothing is the everything.  And stepping back to see the generations unfolding behind me and in front of me gives me the physical, visual, experiential proof of this reality.  Individually, our lives are nothing and we are all one.  And all is nothing, and nothing is all. 

No Amount of…

 

COVID BS Revisited: Fuck All These Morons

 

I warned about the evils of COVID lockdowns back in early March 2020, before the lockdowns.  At the time I called out the pussies in the “evolved communities” who were cowering under their tables over a virus that turned out to actually not be that big of a deal, and nowhere near worth the damage we put society through.  I said at the time you cannot be a champion for personal evolution and a champion for fascism and panic porn.

From the beginning I said – and over and over since – lockdowns, social distancing measures and mandates, as well as the pushing of vaccines, was all evil, stupid and wrong.  It all did far more damage than any good that came from it.  Then I continued saying it as I watched our country and the world devolve into the stupidest, most destructive and evil policies of my lifetime.

I knew back then all this was doing far more harm than good.  And no, that doesn’t prove I have special gifts to see into the future, it just makes me rational and grounded. Anyone who wasn’t deliberately being an idiot could see lockdowns were a really bad, dumb and morally wrong idea. 

So it doesn’t make me special to point out (again) that I was right.  Here is yet more prooflockdowns had a NEGATIVE effect.  Not only did they not “save lives,” they COST lives. 

Again, duh.

This was never about saving lives.  This was about an idiot President who wanted to look good to the media who despised him.  It was about an arrogant little elf with small-man disease who wanted to act powerful.  It was about China imposing its will on us while we bent over and took it like prison bitches.  And far, far, far too many of us actually ENJOYED the ass-fucking.

And it wasn’t genius to predict the “vaccines” wouldn’t work very well, and would likely have severe side-effects.  That’s the normal thing to expect when you rush out a vaccine with zero testing and zero accountability, and then promise it’ll cure every problem known to man, and then force people to take it or risk losing their job- again, because it’s so awesome.  It wasn’t genius to notice masks are really stupid and don’t protect from anything. 

And it wasn’t genius to notice that these mandates were basically a way for insecure people to force others to do what they were doing so they wouldn’t feel like they were alone and nobody liked them.  It had nothing to do with medical science as far as stopping viruses go and everything to do with the medical science of psychology.

So no, I’m not a genius for predicting the obvious from the get-go.  I’m a man of average intelligence in a world full of fucking idiots.

Fucking idiots who want to nominate Donald Trump, the moron who gave us Fauci and lockdowns and Joe Biden, the only man who can hold his own with Trump when it comes to complete stupidity and incompetence.  Both parties have strong, viable alternatives who are intelligent, sane, and who have opposed these insane lockdown and mandate measures.  If this nation had half a brain, we’d have two normals running against each other and put this lockdown and mandate insanity behind us forever.

We’re mired in inflation and supply-chain disaster, so let’s give the country a choice between the father of the worst inflation in 30 years and the other daddy. Really, what the actual FUCK, people?!?

We have alternatives who don’t completely suck, but instead we’re going to nominate the two China lockdown stooges who have combined to give us the 2020s, the worst period of our lifetimes.  Things suck worse than ever, so let’s ensure that we only have a choice between the two idiots who are solely responsible for this craptacular situation we are in.  That way we can make sure the 2020s suck colossal ass for the ENTIRE FUCKING DECADE.

So right now my mood is “Fuck All Y’all.” If the whole country wants to suck, then the country will suck.  It’s a world full of idiots.  Fine.  Fuck them all. A small handful of people get it – I’m here for you.  The rest of the world can eat a bag of dicks for all I care.

It doesn’t matter who wins between Trump and Biden, or Russia and Ukraine, just like it doesn’t matter who wins some UFC fight.  It’s all bullshit in service of unbelievably stupid, conformist, and low-key evil, people.  I’ll keep fighting the good fight here, but I’m not going to wonder why the world is going to shit, most of the world want to go to shit.  Let them. Fuck them.     

Society Really Is Going to Hell

 

Society really has, in a literal sense, gone to hell over the past 20 years.  This has become particularly so in this current decade.  Every aspect of society has devolved at an accelerating rate, to the point where open Luciferian agreements are more than norm than the exception.

Politics doesn’t guide society, it “flows up” from society.  So as society rots, we see the rot manifesting in politics. 

At this point, on any fundamental matter, America’s major political parties are indistinguishable.  On one “side” you have the progressives who favor big, oppressive government, hero worship, the stripping of personal rights, forced medical experimentation, command-and-control economics, and societal passivity.  They basically want everyone stoned, wasting time on social media, mindlessly conforming and ignoring everyone and everything going on around them.  They want people sad, bored and helpless.

On the other “side” you have “MAGA Conservatives” who also favor big, oppressive government, so long as it’s pointed at the progressives and not them, and it keeps sending them checks every month.  They also support hero worship and demand loyalty to their leader, even though he has done nothing to actually improve their lives.  They favor the stripping of personal rights, forced medical experimentation, crony capitalism (with slightly lower taxes and higher debt, just shifting the costs to the other side of the ledger), and societal rage.  They want everyone angry, wasting time on social media, wasting their energy on the latest emotional boogeyman to keep them angry and distracted. They encourage poor choices with money, such as crypto scams and stockpiling gold.  They want a society that’s angry, easily distracted, running around in circles and too tired to stop and see what’s really going on.

In the end, while both “sides” hate the other, they really need each other.  A jackboot works best as a pair.  You have the one who stomps from the left, the other from the right, and society just gets worse and worse.  We get angrier, more stupid, more conformist, more passive, more stoned, more drunk, more addicted to social media and the latest adrenaline rush from whatever false flag is put up to make us angry/scared/depressed or some other disempowered emotion.

You’ll notice each side wants a population that is some level of powerless and unhappy.  Which conveniently is also want sellers of goods and services want, because unhappy people buy more things, take on more debt, and make poorer financial decisions.   A disempowered society is more profitable for the sellers, whether they be in politics or business.

So you see, MAGA and the progressives need each other, to serve their ultimate benefactor – Lucifer.  One side talks about “safety,” which is a code word for encouraging weakness.  The other talks about “freedom,” which is a code word for “disempowered.”  Because a truly free person doesn’t look to the political process to grant him or her freedom, they cultivate their own power and just take it as their birthright.

Talking about “freedom” is treating it as some external thing.  That’s like saying God is “out there” and you need to “find God.”  Well, that’s pretty convenient if you’re trying to manipulate people.  If people understood God and freedom are already here and the only deprivation is when we choose to give them up, well then the powers that be lose all their power.

People gain power by convincing others to give up God and freedom (and freedom really is connection to God, so it’s all God).  They do this by either convincing people that God and their personal power doesn’t exist (the “leftist model”) or that “bad people” are standing in the way of your connection to God and you need “government savior” to defeat them and restore your connection to God.

Both of these models are complete bullshit.  They are false.  The only person depriving you of a connection to God is you.  And if you’re disconnected from God, it’s because you’re allowing yourself to put society – what others think, their conditional approval – above God.  If you’re denying God, you’re doing so because you value “conforming to society” and the approval of others who have chosen Lucifer over God.  If you’re believing a false story that “someone else” or “something else” is standing between you and God, then you’re placing your value in your emotions – mostly anger – and not God.

None of our problems are going to be solved through the political process, that’s just digging a deeper and deeper hole.  The idea that switching from the left boot to the right boot or vice-versa will bring you closer to God (or help you let go of that feeling of disconnection from God) is ludicrous.  It’s the same mentality as the drug addict who things “one more hit” will get them closer to recovery.

The whole system is irreparable because the whole system is in agreement with Lucifer, not God.  It’s easy to see if you look.  Notice how things like drug addiction, adultery, embezzlement, bribery, lying, cheating, bearing false witness, revenge and all the other evil things that take us away from God are prevalent throughout politics.  It’s in both parties. In fact, it’s gone from being tolerated to being celebrated.  Both sides celebrate the accumulation of not just unsustainable levels of debt, but astronomically unsustainable levels.

And for what?  What do we have to show for this?  Can you point to even one government service that isn’t basically a transfer of money from one set of people to another, that accomplishes anything good?  It seems to be an argument between people who want to waste money and lives on war and people who want to waste money and time on magical thinking that accomplishes nothing.  Wind farms, solar farms, electric cars – doing nothing to reduce carbon or the world temperature.  In fact, it’s only gotten worse – the solutions are likely worsening the situation, either by accident or more likely design.

So would we be better off if we just shut down the government entirely, sent every legislator home to go pick up trash on the road, and had no government, or very very little government? People say “oh, the planes wouldn’t fly,” but do you realize how miniscule the FAA is and how incredibly easy it would be to turn that into a non-government agency supported by those who fly airplanes?  All the things they say we “can’t live without” fit into less than 5% of the budget.  The rest is either money transfers (which could be automated or privatized), wars (which we don’t need), or other crap we don’t need.

What about the roads?  States already build them.  What about schools?  Again, states.  What about trade agreements? Importers and exporters could cover that easily.  What about the FBI and CIA?  Yeah, what WOULD we do with out them…

The only people who suffer from a government shutdown are politicians, bureaucrats, and the industry supporting them, including Washington media.  Of course they’ll complain.  But was anyone’s life changed when the writers and actors went on strike?  No, not really.  Nobody in the real world will notice, and once people are weaned off their addiction to the horse race of politics, people will be better off.

At some point, we need a major crisis where people have no choice but to realize that the only thing separating them from God is themselves.  And I sense that crisis is coming much sooner than anyone could have thought. This decade really is going to hell in a handbasket.  More like a hypersonic rocket going faster and faster with every mile.

Flood in Burning Man and Other Interesting Side Effects

 

I forgot to mention some important things in my last post.

Lately my ability to transmute energies from Florida has grown stronger.  I’ve been transmuting water energy – reducing the strength of storms in the area – and using that energy for personal use and other things.  And here’s what’s come up:

• ·California had a hurricane come out of nowhere that went through the southern part of the state

1. · Burning Man had surprise record flooding that stranded people during the festival

There have been other interesting events as a result of this activity, and it eventually produced my personal timeline shift.  It also greatly enhanced my ability to do wok for others. 

In the case of the hurricane and the rain at Burning Man, I didn’t specifically ask for these things, but the energies have to go somewhere, so I guess subconsciously I did. Probably consciously, too, if I’m being honest, though I have a spotty track record when it comes to consciously manipulating physical energies in such a manner. 

Of course in the case of Burning Man, it was long overdue karma, and there’s more where that came from.  I wouldn’t wish it on them, but I wouldn’t not wish it on them, either.

Energies have expanded even more since the major timeline shift this weekend.

Timeline Shift Out of California

 

This weekend I officially, on a spiritual level, filed for divorce from California. 

I know that seems weird to say, just like a lot of things I write here, so what’s new?  The thing is, this is exactly like a toxic relationship.  I’m born and raised in California, and as much as I like to think I’m good at this whole “changing thing,” I’m actually not. And it’s my inability to efficiently pivot when it becomes clear a situation is bad for me has caused a lot of unnecessary suffering, expense and wasted years.

I’m not a nomad by nature.  I like to stay where I am, build roots and create something good in my home.  So that “home” is really important.  I’m born and raised in California, now over fifty years (which actually sounds good, not bad).  Most of that has been in the Los Angeles County area, which really was never my “home.”  LA area has a much different feel than Orange County and to me it’s always been dirtier, more crowded, lower-class and second-rate. 

So I’ve been spending a lot of time creating a home in a place I really don’t like and am only in because I have to be here.  But it’s never felt right and at some deep level I’ve been killing time in this second-rate suburban section of the craptacular Los Angeles area. 

Maybe I liked it some a while back, but the disconnect becomes worse and worse over time.  And I’d complain, but it was like the spouse in a toxic relationship who keeps complaining but never moves on, for whatever reason.  Even during COVID, when it became obvious I despise the huge majority of the people in this state (if LA sucks, the Bay Area swallows). I even felt alienated from my alma mater football team – you can only tolerate absolute crap for so long before even the strongest loyalty erodes.

In my mind I think “yeah, I’ve moved on from California.”  But I hadn’t.  Anger and frustration are not emotions associated with “moving on,” they’re associated with “hanging on.”  I was angry because deep down I still didn’t want to move on. 

Yes I bought a house in Pensacola, Florida.  Yes, I was living my best life far away from California, and felt miserable when I’d return.  So I was moving in that direction, but still pushing the ball uphill.

Then something switched, and it felt like this weekend the whole timeline shifted.  I did meditations where I asked the archetypes to remove all spiritual and emotional attachments to California and remove all blocks to creating a new home in Florida.  And it may end up my home isn’t Florida, or it is, I have to be open to all possibilities on that front as well.

And soon after that moment is when the whole timeline and reality changed in front of my eyes.  Things were somewhat familiar but also completely different, multiple Mandela Effects, and a very different thought process.  And at that point I felt, I’m not a Californian. Now I’m a Floridian.  And down the road, who knows?  But I do know this isn’t my home, which means I’m not responsible for it, which means I don’t need to get upset when things don’t work out in California.  It’s not my problem.

I was so passionate about Cal football and basketball, but poof, not anymore.  They’re a team a root for, but I’ve accepted they suck and it just doesn’t matter.  I got a degree there, but it’s really not my school or teams anymore, and hasn’t been for a while now.  I’ve been attached to Florida State since before I moved to the Panhandle, and that might have been some of the draw for choosing that area to buy a house. Kind of bandwagon, but more “supporting the home team.”  The thing is, I became a fan in 2021 when they were a bad team, but their fans packed stadiums and gave a big F-You to the COVID fascists.  That and I really like what Mike Norvell has done there.

And, yah, whether up or down that’s a program that prioritizes winning in football and men’s basketball. (Yah, their basketball team sucked last year, but 25 years of coaching success in the ACC is nothing to sneeze at, even with a bad year.)

But more than that, the whole energy shifted.  It’s all different.  Even the way I meditate and do alchemy now is different, everything.  And all the signals show this isn’t home anymore and those roots are completely gone. 

So I changed some things that connect to the old home, and I’ll be changing more.  Even if I’m physically here, I’m already gone.