Clearing Out Junk -- Consciously

I'd never be this person, but some days my "stuff" feels like this.

 

For someone who spends a lot of time working on clearing my space, clearing my energy and getting rid of things, I seem to have a lot of stuff. Every time I go through it I end up throwing bags and bags away and still have too much stuff. 

There’s all kinds of unprocessed stuff.  Every time I look through my papers and such I think “why did I keep this?”  This go around I tossed out a bunch of crap “self-help” books like “Non-Violent Communication,” “The Way of the Superior Man” and “The Power of Now.”  And all kinds of junk letters and cards that don’t serve me.  It’s good that I clear stuff out, but why do I keep these things?  Old clothes I didn’t even know I still had, stuff I never use but for some reason feel like I need to keep.  Then I throw it out.

I only have room for a limited amount of stuff in my life.  For some reason I keep more than I know I have room for, in the hopes that maybe I’ll have space for it again someday.  Occasionally I’ll repurpose the old stuff, but most of the time it just festers, taking up space, until I throw it out. 

In a few cases I feel bad.  A well-intentioned gift that I simply cannot use that I carry from place to place.  Or a poor spending choice that I never derived value from but hope I can someday. Or something that had personal value when I decided to save it and since lost its value, and maybe I don’t want to admit it no longer holds value, as if admitting so would dishonor a part of my past. 

The festering junk I hold onto takes a toll.  I thought I did a really good job of keeping the energy in my living area clean, but I realize I still have too much junk.  And after throwing out boxes of stuff, still too much.  I’ll need another round of throwaway.  Especially clothes, but everything. 

As I reflect on this, I realize my inability to admit I made a mistake on a purchase, or that my lifestyle has changed, really sets me back energetically.  The stuff I keep around because of “denial” is an energetic anchor.  I have a motto – “when it doubt, throw it out.”  But I need to really put this into practice, because my ongoing process as been more like “if there’s a doubt, don’t throw it out.” 

But it’s been years of a kayak staying somewhere not where I can use it.  And that won’t change anytime soon.  So – fuck it.  Like it or not I’m not kayaking.  Get rid of it.  A more proactive approach to keeping my space clear would be “use it or lose it.”  And this goes for everything I own.  Either I find a use for it or it finds the trash can and I learn to be more careful about my purchases in the future.  And personal effects, either scrapbook or scrap heap.  I have “sentimental” junk that means nothing and just keeps going on and on with me, and it’s stupid. 

Just this process of sitting down and reflecting has helped me clarify things on an energetic/ emotional level.  There’s a lot I’m ready to let go, a lot I’m ready to repurpose, and very little that I need, or even want, to keep.  Going through the stuff really helped and letting it go really opened up energy.

Because carrying stuff isn’t helpful.  Either I need to use and engage with the things I have or completely get rid of them. Better to keep just a few things and give those things great attention than to spread little to no attention over many things that serve me little or none. 

But it’s more than just blindly tossing things out.  It’s taking a moment to go through every item, reflect on it and make a conscious decision.  Some things are easy, others are logically easy but emotionally there are values conflicts that need to be resolved.  Others can be repurposed and it takes a little imagination.  And in some cases the process needs to be done several times, each time squeezing out more junk and bringing more value to everything else. 

Doing this is a very dynamic process.  It brings life back to places of stale energy while freeing up space.  It’s also a good meditative/ reflective process – it gives me a chance to finally heal and resolve some old internal “stuff.”  And I’m sure there are ways to expand on this experience, transforming something I normally dread into a process I look forward to doing that brings me energy instead of draining me.

It’s interesting how a process that in the past has been a reflexive “don’t think about it and throw it away,” and something I would dread, is evolving into something that’s actually energetically uplifting.  That going through the old stuff can be a valuable energetic practice in and of itself.