Revisiting Men's Work

 I’ve been inspired/ called forth to engage more actively in my inner work, walking the path of a better man.  It’s not that I haven’t been doing any work – in fact over the past five years that I stepped away from the “men’s work,” I’ve done a LOT of things and undergone many changes. 

I dedicated myself to Taekwondo and advanced to a third degree black belt.  No small task.  I embraced my opposition to COVID lockdowns and mandates and used that energy to improve my health, my message, and even buy a house and car in Florida, and eventually to decide to live in that house part-time.  I also bought a new car and fully paid off the debt. 

I reconnected with things I love, namely fishing and skiing.  I became a better husband and father, and now a grandfather.

That’s a lot of work, especially for someone who “stepped away” from the work.  It was a process I needed to go through.

Since I established the Florida house as a second home, I began turning it into a spiritual and emotional “spa,” a place where I could relax, recharge, energize and go deeper into my spiritual practice.  The quiet, the solitude, the green surroundings, the space available in the home, the feeling of having my own house that I own and take responsibility for, the beach and water, and the way I consciously cultivated an energetic space and practice that’s fully and uniquely mine, led me back to a desire to reengage with the “men’s work” I put on pause about five years ago.

I found some good podcasts, some good resources and adjusted my spiritual practice to include some of the practices that helped me grow in the past.  And I’ve seen some very strong results in the couple months that I’ve revisited this journey.

And I’ve also rediscovered some challenges.

The fears that would wake me up at night returned – “STOP!  You’re going the wrong way!” “You’re throwing away your future!” “You can’t afford to do this!” “You’re not dedicated to your job and your career!”  “You’re too old!” “You haven’t accomplished anything in your life!”

So I would get out of bed, sit down at my meditation space and follow those feelings in.  What’s behind this feeling, this thought?  And what’s behind that?  Eventually it would all lead back to some form of “you’re not good enough.”  And what’s behind that?  A fear that I’m not good at making the right choices – and I have made a lot of poor choices in the past, and even more as I started going through this journey. 

But at this point I’ve come to the place where I’ve fallen on my ass a lot, and yah it sucks, but I always pick myself up and move forward. It’s tiring and frustrating, but here I am.  I have two great kids and the best relationship I’ve had with both of them.  I have a beautiful, loving wife and a very happy marriage that’s approaching a decade.  I finally have a house.  I’m doing the things I love, and accomplishing things I didn’t even have on my radar screen ten years ago.

So yeah, I’ve fucked up and fallen down, but I always seem to end up in a better place and a better quality of life.

The more work I do on myself the more I have to face my “old self” and the beliefs and patterns that weren’t serving me in the past.

I come up against a fear response. Often it seems it isn’t even really attached to anything.

I dig at it and “I’m not good enough” comes up. And what’s behind that? Scary stuff. And behind that? More scary stuff. And on and on until I get to a core that seems to be “generational,” I inherited this core fear, and now that I’m old enough to have a choice, I choose to reject it.

 

So that’s where I’m at - noticing, facing, digging and eliminating core fears that I inherited but I don’t accept as mine.

 

At the core is understanding myself.  My way is different. Maybe a little “irresponsible,” definitely not “by the book.” I’m not doing things according to tradition or conventional wisdom.

 

Whether I like it or not, I’m walking my own path.  And I realize I can’t stop myself. So, either accept it and put it to best use for me or let it run me and deal with this constant cycle of correction that feels like sabotage.

 

It’s clear something deeper is pulling me in this direction.  And at this point in my life

I don’t have the energy to debate it or argue with it, so I’m just going to accept it, however crazy, irrational, irresponsible or counter-intuitive it might seem.  I want to understand it so I can best serve that fire inside me and my rational and intuitive selves can serve in partnership.  I’ve accepted that I’m just going to go through the fears and accept that I’ll sometimes fuck up – though I’ll fuck up a lot less if I’m aligned and commit to going through the fears. 

Florida is (a LOT) Better than California, and Why the Spiritual Community is a Real Problem

 

Since my tenants in Florida moved out, I’ve been a lot better energetically.  It’s noticeable to people who know me – every time I post pictures from Florida, people comment how I look so much more relaxed.  My wife senses I’m “more myself” because of this.

It’s come at a cost.  I’m paying for the mortgage and the plane tickets, instead of someone else paying my mortgage.  The travel back and forth is tiring.  But overall it’s been a huge net positive.  Every time I test, I confirm that keeping the house for me is not just for enjoyment, it’s a spiritual necessity.

It’s so much better I’ve begun to analyze what makes it so much better.  Is Florida particularly good spiritually?  Is my living situation (being in the house I actually own, having a dedicated altar space, good fishing) more spiritually elevating?  Or is California, and particularly my area of Southern California, particularly bad from a spiritual standpoint?

So I dug down and did some testing.  27% is because Florida is particularly good from a spiritual standpoint.  I’ll analyze the details of this later, but this confirms feelings I’ve always had that Florida is a particularly strong location spiritually.  But it’s also the smallest percentage.

The second highest reason is “personal situation,” at 32%.  Having my own house and living in that house is a big deal for me.  I need that.  Having a place and maintaining it is spiritually important for me.  The green yard and neighborhood is important.  The serenity.  The regular fishing that’s usually pretty good, even my little workout area, all contributes to my elevated spiritual energy, more so than Florida’s particular spiritual gifts.

And it isn’t the biggest reason.  41% of the reason my spiritual energy is higher in my house in Florida vs here in Crappyfornia is because California, and particularly my area of Los Angeles County, really is crappy at a spiritual level.

I’ve lived in California my whole life and seen it go downhill over the years, particularly over the last 20-30 years.  At this point it’s unlivable on any level, but the spiritual energies are particularly bad.

In looking particularly at California and what makes It so bad spiritually, here is the breakdown:

Spiritual Community Screwing With Energies (mostly with “love and light” BS)            42%

Daily BS (general idiocy of majority of population – includes things like traffic)  26%

Corruption/crime                                                                                                                              17%

Woke Politics/DEI agenda                                                                                                              6%

Greed                                                                                                                                                   4%

Karma (taking land, etc)                                                                                                                  3%

Other                                                                                                                                                    2%

 

So yes, California just sucks in general, but that only accounts for either 26% or 49%, depending on how you add them up.  The plurality is people with spiritual power who are making energies insufferable with their “trying to help” – 42%. 

 

The vibration of California, and particularly where I live, is -6 million.  It’s REALLY bad. But if the entire California spiritual community stopped “trying to help,” the vibration would be -40,000.  Still appalling, but dramatically better.  So it’s 42% of the problem but 99% of the energetic pollution because of the power involved.  If we removed all the other negative influences, except the 5% that’s karma or other and probably baked in, the vibration moves up to 642.  Florida’s vibration is 836.  My vibration enhancement from leaving California and going to Florida, which includes removing the negative and adding the positive, comes to an increase of 6,018,947.  No wonder it’s so much easier to do work in my home in Florida, or on the beach, the universe isn’t working against me. 

 

 And while the California spiritual community is responsible for 42% of this problem, it’s almost all of the magnitude. 

 

It’s not that the spiritual community in the Florida Panhandle is better aligned.  It is somewhat.  It’s that there are MUCH fewer people doing their voodoo bullshit in the Panhandle than in Southern Crappyfornia. 

 

A lot of people leaving places like California identify as “political refugees,” but that’s actually a small portion of the real reason people are leaving other places and staying in Florida.  They may feel it’s political, because the political differences are newsworthy and easy to enumerate.  But it’s mostly spiritual, and it’s mostly the absence of bad spiritual energies.

 

Could those bad spiritual energies be contributing to the lousy politics and general crime/corruption of California? I test yes, about 20% responsible.  Does it work the other way?  Does bad politics infect the spiritual community and cause it to do bad/stupid things?  Again I test yes, about 86% (wow!).  So yes, politics is a real problem in California, as is crime and general corruption.  And all that rot is causing the damage from the spiritual community to be much, much worse. 

 

But again, if the spiritual community in California simply did nothing, things would instantly get much better and continue to improve over time, even leaving everything else the same.  In other words, if God put all the California spiritual community in a giant burlap bag and dropped them in the ocean, California would instantly become a much better place to live, and there would be almost no downside.

 

Ouch!

 

So actually that meme I put up (for amusement more than anything) isn’t correct – the pot-smoking rock collectors are actually actively doing a tremendous amount of damage.  Doing nothing and looking silly would be a drastic improvement. (I’m a little surprised Steve Dease didn’t recognize the negative energies at play, he usually perceives them.)

 

So yes, we have a big problem in California.  They’ve ruined California beyond anything we could have imagined.  And if we don’t do something to neuter the false light spiritual community, it’s going to get a lot worse, not just in California.